


His Angel of Death (Hiatus)

by Witchcraftandwine



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Mobfell (Undertale), Cage Fights, Dark fic, First person reader, Gaster is posessive, Multi, POV Alternating, POV First Person, POV Third Person, Reader Is Not Chara, Reader Is Not Frisk, Reader Needs Love, Reader is killer, Reader is mentally unstable, Soul mate, WD Badasser, WD Gaster - Freeform, lots of blood, not sure yet - Freeform, reader is female, so just M for now, soul mates, there might be sex later
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-20
Updated: 2019-02-15
Packaged: 2019-09-23 04:08:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 26,797
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17073185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Witchcraftandwine/pseuds/Witchcraftandwine
Summary: He has looked for his soulmate for so long,  but he never imagined that a human could be a real beast.  His soul demands he claim her,  His head tells him to wait.  She is everything he has waited for, fought to find.  Now he has her, he will never let her go.((This story will be continued but for the moment I have a few that are flowing better))





	1. Chapter 1

As a metal gate opens before me, I say nothing.  I have not said anything in years, I have not needed to.

Why should a devil need to speak.

I am not a real monster, I am a human… or I was, at one point.  No, there are real monsters, I have killed them, and humans, as I was told to do, because I did not want to die.  Though now, I cannot remember why I wanted to live so badly. I cannot remember why I fought so hard.

 

_ I want to die _

 

The man standing before me is terrified.  He is in a rumpled suit and already bleeding… oh… this isn't a match, not really.  It’s an execution, and I am executioner.

This is not uncommon.

Those who displease ‘Him’, those who threaten ‘Him’, those who deny ‘Him’ are often sent to me.  Why is it set up as a match? Why just kill a man when you can make money from it. I thought it was to early for my next match.  This wasn’t a fight it was meant as entertainment. The man thought he could fight me, he hurled words at me that had no meaning anymore.  He threw something, one of the weapons provided for ‘them’ it missed.

Even if it had hit me, it wouldn’t have mattered.

I feel a little bad,  but only a little because no matter why he is in here, he is just as bad a ‘Him’ for being involved at all… for being part of this.  So killing him does not hurt me.

I move so fast he cannot think.  It is a swift kill, I am not to waste my energy on these parts.  That is not my purpose. My energy, my skills, where meant for the fights, the real money makers.

The body crumples head twisted almost entirely the wrong way… the human body is simply to weak under my hands now…

 

_ I hate it _

 

I turn to leave the cage, there is no point in lingering.  It is well known by now that I do not savour or promote the kill,  I have no taste for that. Others of the arena, those who like me are veterans, they may savor the taste of blood, the crunch of bone, the screams… But I find pleasure in… nothing…

No, that isn’t right,  as I walk back into my cage and sit I slowly push up my sleeve and look at the too small bracelet on my wrist.  Because I had done well ‘He’ had given me a string to extend it so it still fit. ‘He’ said I could ask for anything, a nicer room… better food, anything I wanted,  all I wanted was her bracelet to fit me again.

‘He’ had marvelled at my request then arranged it.  ‘He’ offered to take it to a jeweller to have links added but the idea of it being taken away even for a short time had almost made me puke with anxiety.

I have lost track of how many times the string has broke, but ‘He’ always makes sure I get a new one. ‘He’ says ‘He’ wants ‘His’ best money maker happy, but there is no happiness… not really even in this.  This was simply different. It was me… all I had left. A name, but not my name.

I trace the small letters on the beads, they are worn from constant touch but I know them by heart.

JENNA

 

_ Not my name _

 

Her name, another, who had come, like me, taken from her home small and vulnerable, and like me mentally disturbed.  Unlike me, she couldn’t cope, unlike me she was to bright and good for this place… Unlike me, she refused to kill no matter what.

I protected her instead, I don’t know why, I didn’t care about any of the others, but I cared about her.  Maybe because she was in the cell next to mine. Maybe because at night I heard her cry and whimper for her mother and she only seemed to calm when I reached through the bars and rubbed her back.

Maybe because she was the first one to smile at me.

She hadn’t been sold to ‘them’ like I had been, she had been stolen away.  She just wanted to go home, And for her there was a promise of home. If she won back the money spent to get her, she could go home… But she still refused to kill,  so I killed for her I spoke to ‘Him’ and I demanded it. My money for her freedom. I could have won myself free, we all had the choice after all. ‘He’ claimed it was his generosity. I saw it for a sick game.

‘He’ agreed on the condition I joined the cages… These fights weren’t like the others.  These fights weren’t a winner and a loser, they where winner and a corpse.

I agreed… for her.  

I killed for her

But ‘He’ is a liar… no… a trickster.  ‘He’ made me think she would be safe, but she wasn’t  ‘He’ put her in a match, ‘He’ put her in the cage. She didn’t fight, she couldn’t take a life.  So she didn’t… It killed her, so I killed it… the one and only time I revelled in a kill, I drew it out, I thrived on it, on it’s screams it’s cries for mercy it’s choking gargles as blood filled it’s throat and lungs, then when I was done I went to her.  ‘He’ had left her body there, ‘He’ thought it would motivate me…

 

_ I cried. _

 

I hate ‘Him’  I hate ‘Him’ I hate ‘Him’!

I can’t remember her face anymore…  

There's another fight… something's different. I shift slightly glancing through the bars of the cage that holds me until my next match.  There are monsters among the people now. But one is sitting next to ‘Him’ it is like nothing I’ve ever seen before, it is as white as the cell I am kept it,  but eyes are black, and for a moment I feel a shiver, I am certain the lights in that deep black are on me.

Then the feeling is gone and I settle my fingers running over the bracelet.

 

_ Why am I alive? _

 

There are shouts of disappointment.  A favorite has gone down to a new competitor.  There is a crunch. The match is over, I know death when I hear it, even if the audience for a moment holds its breath in anticipation waiting to see if their former hero would get up.  He will not…

He does not.

My cage moves and I stand… my turn to face this new comer. A waste.  I have no doubt they are skilled. The one before me was very skilled.  But I, I am the best… I am an executioner, a monster, the demon… the death.

I step out again.  There is nothing to me really,  I am deceptively small, I am pale and scarred, I do not know what my face looks like I have not seen a mirror in years and cannot remember how it looked when I was a child.

I only know that stress has turned my hair white where once it had been blonde.  ‘He’ had worried when the first white started to show, ‘He’ had brought in ‘His’ own special doctor who said it was to be expected,  a natural thing. He said not to worry, after all, even if I died I could be replaced. 

‘He’ was angry,

Not on my behalf, but at the suggestion of losing something worth so much money.  Death is not something just anyone can have, ‘He’ has spent years creating it, creating me.

The fighter is a monster,  I am not thrown off, this is not the first monster I have faced, it wears thick armor and carries a mace.  A glimpse of scales tells me it is probably reptilian. It does not have the sheen of slime something aquatic would need on the surface.

It lunges barely a fraction of a second after the bell sounds.  I could end it, here now, a fast easy kill, monster are so feeble in so many ways.  They had magic yes, but nothing could really stop death. It was an effort to snap out and dust the poor deluded creature now…

But, ‘He’ would expect a good match

I cannot end it quickly, so… I dodge, and dodge, and dodge,  I do not attack, I must give ‘them’ something to enjoy. The shouts and cries of the audience are nothing but a buzz of sound in my ears.  I have never needed that kind of stimulation, it is merely a distraction, a world outside of mine.

I temper blows and begin to strike, the fight begins.  A real fight, there is magic, something heavy on my body a weight, Blue magic, gravity, heavy… I can’t jump now, or not very well, but my movement is not so severely impeded,  it is startled, it must have expected me to be startled or confused by it’s magic. I am not.

 

_ I feel nothing anymore. _

 

I strike.  It is fast and I can see it’s health dropping,  the mace moves swinging up almost clipping me. I manage to dodge, it staggers arms around it’s exposed and now bleeding midriff.  Monsters were complex creatures. The magic of their bodies meant blows that might instantly kill a human Might only stagger a monster.  If they had even a fraction of HP left, they could be brought back… It made for interesting combat in the cage, for others anyway

I just want this over.

I launch into a new attack, the creature comes at me with a hiss, I am not intimidated.  I am tired. Part of me… a bigger part after every fight, is tempted to let him hit me.. Let me die, let it end…

But I cannot die… not yet.  

 

I must…

 

I must……...

 

I must…………….

  
  


I… Must…. Kill….. ‘Him’......

 

I lash out striking again and again, giving him no time to use the cumbersome weapon I am blind to the HP gauge, it means nothing, it will die soon,  then I can rest…

Suddenly I am jerked up and thrown back,  this is wrong green magic binds me to the cage bars,  Green?! As far as I knew only boss monsters could control more than one magic color, this one had blue so how?  But it is laying unconscious it’s HP hovering at 1

I look up things are quiet,  I am aware of the oppressive silence.  The one beside ‘Him’ is standing, a hand up palm out a hole in the palm glows green.  He is the one restraining me? Why? Was this not the point? This is the cage, you do not survive the cage! You don’t get to escape!

 

_ She wasn’t allowed… _

 

The monster is dragged out and I fall, the green magic released as soon as the cage is closed, there are murmurs and I am uncertain of what to do, so I look to ‘Him’  I hate to, but I need guidance, I do not know what is going on, what is happening around me? ‘He’ gives a subtle nod and I return to my cage curling up on the floor of it as the door is shut,  I can hear disappointment, I do not care. There is a strange feeling in my chest.

 

_ I didn’t have to kill…. _

 

It is one life, spared from me, and I am happy.  It is a small comfort in a world of none. I wrap my hand around the wrist where her bracelet sits, and jolt

 

_ It’s gone! _

 

*

 

**“I’m certainly impressed, it’s very rare for a human to be able to fight against monster magic.”** Gaster said running a finger along his chin as he watched the cage carting the human creature begin to shake

“It’s a valuable commodity, as you could see, it was easily able to take out your man,  it could have right from the start, but it is trained to draw out it’s ‘fights’ an execution is one thing but the crowd enjoys it’s entertainment.” the human man said with a smile, Inwardly Gaster frowned,  he despised men like this, it was these kinds of beings who had started the war. Ones who thrived on blood and death.

Now,  Gaster was not adverse to such things himself, but he far preferred control and manipulation… just as he was doing now.

It had take months of work to get an invitation to the ‘games’  not as a spectator, but with a competitor. Finding a monster willing to participate in a death cage match had been… difficult, but not impossible with the right incentive.  His man had done well and earned his reward and now he had seen it, the angel of death herself.

And he wanted her….

Almost 25 years he had wanted her.  He had known the instant she’d been born, he had felt it… but they had still been underground, for five years he built his powers and when the last human fell he was ready to kill it, one last soul and freedom! But it had belonged to his son and so he had not been able to.  However to everyone's surprise it had broken the barrier willingly, it had wanted to help them. And, it seemed some other humans where the same, grudges of an old world forgotten. Still others wanted them gone.

But without their magic Humans could no longer seal them away and the world changed.  Those first few years he rarely thought of it, of his soul mate, of that pulse that he could occasionally feel.  It would be to young, just a child even on a human scale, so he had helped build and expand. He had constructed a new core outside of the mountain.  He had helped his son build a home with his soul mate, then had helped his other son build a restaurant. Just because he was a boss, just because he wielded power that rivalled even their kings, did not mean he was heartless after all.

The cage shook again drawing his attention and he arched a brow

**“Unstable?”** he questioned.  The human looked out and frowned faintly

“No…. I think… hrmm… you may get a better show.” he said smiling slightly  there was a look of sick anticipation in his eyes, something was coming and he wanted it.  Gaster fought the flinch as his soul pulsed.

He never expected being so close to her would feel this way.

He knew something was wrong fifteen years ago,  He had felt the pain, the confusion, the fear, helpless hopeless.  Something had happened, and it didn’t stop, it called out over and over an intense agony begging for help pleading, but he had never fund it, he hadn’t been certain how, and to admit a soul mates existence before tying to it?  A death sentence. He couldn’t ask for help.

So he had searched, as his power grew and his connections in the human world stretched further and further he learned all he could.  Knowledge had always been his vice and he took it with ravenous intent, he had to find it, each day it screamed out was slow torture enough to drive him mad.

Then, slowly… the cries had slowed, had lost their force, their power until all he felt was the pulsing hopelessness, the lifelessness of one broken.  It was broken, the one for him, his everything he had waited for… had thought he could never have… and someone had broken it, hurt it, shattered it in ways he didn’t even know!

The first time he had heard it’s wish for death he had been so enraged he had destroyed his office.  He had almost gone mad with it.

After so long… after being so desperate there it was.. There she was, so close, so damn close it was killing him to sit there to wait, to bargain with this trash,  using his magic on her it had been so different her souls instant response to him had almost brought him to his knees. He would have her by the end of the day by the end of the hour if he could manage it…

He could feel it, agony, fear, anger, madness,  she was thrashing pulsing so much power without even knowing she could.  She was crying out through her soul desperate, frantic

 

_ Come back! _

 

He almost heard her weeping,  something was missing, something that had been the only thread keeping her together, the cage tipped precariously then fell the door clanging open drawing cries and shouts of alarm.  Beside him the human laughed propping his chin on his fist barely casting Gaster a glance as he watched his own security rush in to contain his asset.

“Now this will be a show.” he said pleased gaster looked,  she was a streak of white and red, the men who stood against her, stood no chance.  Not in her current state of mind, wild, an animal in a frenzy, what was she looking for? What had caused that thread to shake?

**“Is this behaviour common?”** he questioned the human man who ‘owned’ his soul mate.

“Hmm?  No, usually it is quiet docile, it’s very well trained but it has one trigger.  It’ll find it eventually, it always does but until it does it will keep killing.” he sighed leaning back

“It’s a unique specimen.  It has raked in so many wins, it’s value really can’t be counted in money alone. But what makes it most valuable is it’s easy care.  It asks for nothing except a string.” Gaster frowned arching a brow as the human elaborated

“Our assets are kept in pairs when initially brought in for training, it helps keep the minds as stable as possible during the initial training and conditioning process. After a while, the less capable of the pair is destroyed.  This one took the loss of it’s partner quiet harsh, It had even ‘bargained’ with me, it offered to use it’s winnings to buy its partners freedom… it amused me to say yes. It seems the assets believe that if they win enough money they can ‘buy’ their freedom.” he explained Gaster felt sick.  He was not a good man by any means but this human was pure bile in a silk suit

“When it discovered it’s partner's body it was an amazing show, I regret not getting it filmed,  it was the only time I saw it revel in a kill. Afterwards it took it’s partners single belonging and has kept it ever since, some cheap little bracelet with the others name on it,  unfortunately it was a child's toy and is to small for the asset now. So, after a fight, if the bracelet is damaged it simply asks for string to repair it.” he said finally laughing cruelly

“Something so small and pathetic keeps such a beast in line, it’s fascinating.” he mused 

**“So this behaviour?** ” Gaster pressed the man gestured

“My guess would be the bracelet broke off at sometime during the battle,  It gets so hyper focused it wouldn’t have noticed until it settled back in it’s cage,  it is looking for it’s partner.” he said chuckling revelling in his Monsters rage.

Gaster said nothing returning his attention to the arena, she had decimated the guards and ripped open the cage door throwing herself inside and looking crawling along the floor, he could feel it the desperation, his fingers curled on the armrests of the chair the wood creaking slightly under his strength as he watched her search  as he ‘heard’ her soul weeping begging to find it, this one little thing.

Then joy, elation instant calm, there, there it was

 

_ I found you… _

 

She was rubbing her cheek against something sitting on her knees near a side of the cage not far from where he had restrained her,  he wondered vaguely if it had been his magic that had accidently knocked it off of her.

She made no struggle as three more members of the security team climbed into the cage and surrounded her,  long poles with loops where used restraining her neck and each wrist. There was an moment tension as she tensed looking at them refusing to move when ordered  then she relaxed and stood and let them lead her out of the cage, back into her smaller one, where she was rolled out of the arena.

**“It’s quite a spectacle for sure.  I believe I’ve seen enough.”** Gaster said standing the human man stood also

“I believe this partnership will benefit us both, After witnessing the display I would very much like to rent it from you.” Gaster said easily, the greedy human smiled eagerly as he took the offered hand.  He now had ties with one of the biggest monster bosses in the country. So maybe he lost a week of revenue from his little angel of death. The uh ‘rental’ fee would more then make up for it, and the benefits of Having such an associate were too many to count. So many that he was blind to the monsters true intentions for him.

 

*

 

She is back… she is safe with me.  I hug her to my chest curled on the floor of my cell,  I am not sleepy but I need to hold her to me, to know she is unharmed.  She is all I have…

I hear footsteps, normally I would ignore them but I recognize the gait, ‘He’ is coming.  I shift sitting up I know the routine even as smoke fills the cell my hand stays firm around the broken trinket.  When I awaken I will ask for more string…

 

\----------

 

I am restrained when I wake.  I always am. They learned quickly that if I was given the chance, even the slightest one I would kill ‘Him’  I made too much money to terminate, so they did this… apparently restraining me was cheaper then trying to make another me.

My torso is in a straight jacket arms curled tightly around me fingers closed forced into a fist with thick padded mittens.  Heavy belts keep my arms immobile. They had gotten thicker after the first few times I had ripped through the leather.

My legs were forced into a crossed position so I could sit up chains where looped around my thighs, knees and ankles and where bolted to the floor preventing me from standing,  the was a metal bar in my mouth so I could not bite. If I could, I’d rip out ‘His’ Jugular with my teeth…

I was surprised to note a lack of Blindfold.  Usually they blinded me as well, but I quickly noticed why, standing with ‘Him’ was the monster from before.  It was male I noticed, another ‘Him’ one with power and money, the owner of that fighter? The one who would not let me kill.  Why is he here? I am uncertain and yet oddly calm. I do not understand it but my eyes are riveted on him

“As you can see we take extreme precautions to ensure no accidents.” ‘He’ explained.  The monster nodded His head is a skull, but the teeth are sharp. There is a crack on the right side from the top of his eye all the way up to around back I assume, and then anther under the left eye going all the way down to the side of his mouth Part of me feels like I should be afraid.

 

_ Don’t be afraid…. _

 

I look between the two and then ‘He’ moved holding ‘His’ hand out, ‘He’ had her! I jolt snarling  but trapped the chain clinked Damn DAMN! I thrash snarling and snorting no no no nonononononono!

‘He’ smiles and then holds her out to the monster who takes it,  I pause watching the display the meaning slowly coming to me, ‘He’ was … giving me to the monster,  My eyes stayed on her. 

 

_ Give her back _

 

_ Please don’t take her away from me… _

 

The monster studies me a long moment before turning to ‘Him’ and saying something.  ‘He’ looks surprised but eventually shrugs

“Your funeral I guess.” ‘He’ mumbled absently before the monster approaches me,  My lips curl no, no… I don’t know what to think not even ‘He’ comes near me. No one ever comes close.  Everyone I touch dies… I am death… 

 

_ I don’t want you to die… _

 

He reaches out and again I feel it, magic restraining me, even stronger than before.  With little effort he undoes the belts and frees one arm. I am shocked, what is he doing?  With that confusion becomes fear… and deeper… eagerness, I see it… an opportunity… yes… yes…  Release me… release me and I will kill ‘Him’ I will end it all… all will die, ‘they’ will be free… I will let them all go, and then I will end…

I am brought back to myself as I feel the mitten forcing my hand into a fist slipped off,  more green magic loops around my arm keeping me imobile. It should frighten me but it feels odd… I cannot remember the word.  It is a good word. One I have not used in many many years.

He takes the bracelet and shows it to me, I eye him suspiciously as he carefully removes the snapped frayed string, and then pulls the red silk Handkerchief from his coat breast pocket,  with little effort he opens the two end links and then rips through the silk and closes them, attaching the bracelet to the cloth and then tying that around my wrist securely but not to tightly.

He gave it back to me… he gave her back,  he helped her, he fixed her.

**“You will be coming with me, do you understand me?”** he asked.  His voice is strange I cannot describe it, but it is odd, garbled,  I feel almost like I shouldn’t be able to understand it, but I can. Then I feel something, as he watches me  I know he isn’t speaking but I hear him

**_I will keep you, forever. You belong to me._ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a darker fic, I'm not in a good place right now and there's a lot of things I need out of my head. If you like it that's great if not that fine. I don't know what I'm doing with this.


	2. Chapter 2

I am not sure what to think of the declaration, on the one hand ‘He’ has always made it clear ‘He’ would go through a lot to keep me as ‘His’ money maker.  It was also apparent ‘He’ hadn’t heard the words

“If you would like to step back outside we can gas her and prep for transport.”  ‘He’ said with a complicated look. I didn’t understand it and didn’t really care to, but knowing I’d be gassed again so soon made me sigh.  A second dose tended to make me weaker the second time I woke up, especially this soon after a first.

I hated how weak I felt at those times, so small… so weak.

Something flickers in the monsters eyes… amusement? I tilt my head curiously but he shakes his head standing and facing ‘Him’

**“That won’t be necessary, can you send for one of my people to bring my car around?”** he asked, there was something in his tone, the monster didn’t like ‘Him’.  It was so veiled, maybe I only even noticed because of how much I wanted to kill ‘Him’ myself, but it was there.

‘He’ called for one of the others said something unimportant and the smaller one nodded rushing off to do ‘His’ bidding while the monster turned back to me.

“I must reiterate it will take every opportunity offered I think it would be best to gas it.” ‘He’ said  the monster shook its head reaching out it’s hand touching my forehead then sliding down to cover my eyes.  I should be afraid but something inside me feels strange when he touches me, it was almost like… almost like a sigh, like my whole body had released it’s collective tension….

**“And I must reiterate, that won’t be necessary… I can handle this.”** he said his voice was fading My body felt strange, heavy and all the more sleepy what was happening?  I could see a faint green glow… green magic? That made a bit of sense, green magic was healing, and restraint… to make … to make… I’m so… sleepy… I…

 

*

 

He caught her as she slumped forward.  There, she was there in his arms, triumph, elation, Desire!  All this time, all these years, all the suffering. Now he had her, he would never let her go. It was no effort to break the chains that kept her bound to the floor,  he felt a surge of satisfaction hearing the humans barely concealed gasp.

Carefully he undid belts and buckles the green restraints vanishing as he extracted her small body from the harsh fabric of the jacket.  He dropped it to the floor and held her for a long moment, he didn’t care what the human thought, he never had. This whole thing had been to get her, now he had her.

“You’re car has been pulled around.” the human said there was uncertainty in his voice.  Gaster nodded turning, keeping her carefully cradled in his arms. The man studied him then shrugged probably passing off his behaviour as a ‘monster thing’  a good excuse, one many had used to cover their behaviour, and he wasn’t above doing the same.

There where looks of fear and confusion as they walked along the halls.  Obviously those who worked for this man knew of his angel of death, they feared that it was out, and unrestrained. 

 

_ Good _

 

She deserved the power that fear brought, they all deserved to die for what they did to her.  He was sorely tempted to wake her, to let her loose, to let her have her vengeance against these pathetic humans… but she was exhausted, Mind, Body, SOUL, she needed rest.  His green magic would mend her broken body, repair any lingering wounds from recent combat, fix anything that had not been properly fixed the first time as she slept.

His priority was getting her out of this place.

Waiting at the door was Sans and beside him, his mate, Frisk.  They both bowed their heads respectfully as he walked past, Papyrus holding the door open for him.  He usually didn’t demand this of them, they where his children, But to make the best (and most intimidating) impression on the human he had asked them to help, and they had.

Once the car stopped Papyrus opened the car door allowing Gaster to slide into the back seat, the humans people were standing by respectfully while Sans and Frisk climbed in after and were followed finally by Papyrus.

As his children settled themselves Gaster shifting taking her hand gently his head moving pressing his forehead to hers, he didn’t even know her name but that didn’t matter.  She was here with him and he would ensure she would never be lost again.

“G?” Sans asked seeing his father gripping the pale woman's hand his eyes had closed as he kept connected to her,  they could all feel the souls pulsing and slowly beginning to pulse in unison. Starting to understand Sans fell silent and they watched, the magic was so strong instinctively Frisk grabbed Sans’ hand holding it as she watched, she didn’t know who this girl was but she was both happy and frightened for her.  Finding a soulmate had been the best thing in Frisks life, but it wasn’t always easy.

She was happy for Gaster as well.  She knew Sans worried for his father.  A few years after the barrier had broken Gaster had completely lost it destroying his personal study,  She had seen some of the carnage afterwards. She’d known he was capable of amazing destructive force but hadn’t realized just how destructive.  Grief, agony, madness? All of it had pushed him forward and Frisk, unable to stand by while someone suffered had offered him her quiet support.

Now she understood what had driven him to the brink then.  She shifted leaning against Sans lacing their fingers and sighing softly,  the warm pulse of magic with in the car never slowing. There was so much more in bonding soulmates but for now his actions would tie them enough to keep that girl safe.  Frisk hoped she took it well Gaster deserved happiness to after all.

As he tied them together Gaster searched inside her examining what his magic was healing, he was surprised, she actually had very few wounds.  She was a phenomenal killer. She would never have to kill again if she asked it of him.

He pulled back blinking once, twice then closing his eyes hard and opening them again, the only sign of weakness, the disorientation meshing so deeply with someone caused. Then he looked to his children.

Papyrus was watching with interest while Sans and Frisk when snuggled together sans eyes apprehensive Frisks soft and happy… happy for him?  He knew he hadn’t been particularly kind to her but he supposed he hadn’t been excessively cruel either.

“Is she?” Papyrus started slowly amazed,  he had honestly never thought about his father finding a soul mate, and now here it was, and it was human.  How strange.

“Yes, She is mine.” Gaster said after a moment looking between his children then back down at her

“I knew, the moment she was born, I’ve waited so long to find her.” he said shifting he looked to his boys grown, both of them.... “I couldn’t tell you, she needed to grow a chance to become herself, she has not had that chance but I will not lose her.” he said with a deadly calm.

“What was all of that?” Frisk asked gently he scowled glancing backwards as if he could somehow see the building.

“The humans of power in this city engage in cage fighting sports.  Sans, Papyrus I believe you know of the rumors?” they nodded

“The cages are two types, open fight and death fights, open fights are your standard matches, but the real money makers are the death matches.  There are a few veterans but the one I heard about most scoping this place out for ya was The Death. Seemed like a bit of an exaggeration t me, but whatever it was they were plenty scared.” he said Frisk frowned giving him a look

“And just who were you asking?” she asked with a look, Sans chuckled pulling her close 

“No one kid, You know you're the one for me.” he said gently before returning his attention to Gaster who nodded approvingly

“She, is death.” he said simply, the others fell into stunned silence not expecting him to admit something like that

“I’m surprised the building is still standing if that's the case.” Papyrus said shortly breaking the silence.  “Your soulmate was forced into fights to the death? You should have bathed in their blood.” he said lightly Gaster chuckled, Papyrus had always been the more aggressive child.  Active and straight forward ready to make a move whenever necessary.

“I considered it, but I think it only fair she get a chance to extract her own revenge.  She has been soarly mistreated. Either way, the entire group is now on borrowed time.” he said shortly Sans nodded, he knew the look, the words.  It was a declaration of execution.

Anyone else might have thought this was a turf war.  But those where scuffles, this wouldn't be some fight to blow off steam and get some more land. Gasters Soulmate had suffered at the hands of a greedy human pig and now he would die for it.

She shifted in his arms brows knitting face scrunching before she relaxed again. Gaster smiled faintly

“She’s incredibly strong, she’s actively fighting my magic, isn’t it fascinating?” he murmured to nobody in particular.  Happy enough to leave him to look at his prize Sans focused his attentions on Frisk while Papyrus pulled a small black notebook from his jackets inner pocket and began to scribble something with the small neat pen.

 

*

 

I feel… strange.

Have I died?  No that doesn’t seem right

I feel to… good.

It is a strange sensation to feel so nice, I had almost forgotten it was even possible to not feel pain.  I often let my injuries go if I receive any, I deserve to suffer for what I am and what I do… but, there is no pain, only a soft drifting warmth… so soft… so warm…

My eyes open slowly and I am struck by color a deep rich blue Navy I believe it is called.  Slowly I sit up surprised when the floor gives beneath my hands, No… not a floor… I… I am on a bed. The mattress however is softer then the doctors bed ever was. Covering me are the softest sheets, a thin sheet of cream and over that a thicker blanket in the same blue with shots of silver thread through it, This is not ‘His’ room… where am I?  I look around cautiously. I remember… the arena… I remember losing Her… 

 

_ No! _

 

I lift my arm quickly, but she is there attached to… a handkerchief… tied securely… The man… the monster, He had said... 

I sit up looking around quickly.  This must be… the monsters room? But why?  He is not in it as far as I can see and I see no places he could hide easily. He had been quiet tall.

I swiftly slip from the bed toes curling in the plush carpeting of the room.  He had said something before I fell asleep… something about my… being his… what did that mean?  Was it some sort of monster thing? Or was it a human thing that I simply didn’t know? I’m not sure, I haven’t exactly spent the time I have with people chatting.  The words I know are remembered from before or learned from listening to people talk outside my cell door.

I begin to examine the room, first the door.  Locked, and very thick and sturdy, damn, I shouldn’t be surprised but it was worth a shot,  There are curtains this means windows. I go to them and flinch back at the bright cheerful sunlight quickly slamming them closed.  My eyes hurt from how bright it is I blink slowly clearing my vision then slowly ease them open letting my eyes adjust. It’s… so… green outside.  I can vaguely seen big building through thick shady trees

How long had it been?  To long, I was a child the last time I saw a tree….  So so long…

For a moment I forget everything, I forget ‘Him’ I forget where I am, I forget what I am, fingers gently press against the window as I just look at the trees… 

**“I knew you’d wake soon… what do you think?”**  The voice startles me and I whip around instantly on defense, I hadn’t heard anything! My lips curls and I tuck down a small target, standing by the door is the monster,  he is in a very neat black suit under that he wears a dark red vest, crisp white shirt, and black tie. His hands are in his pockets and he seems very relaxed, putting me further on edge.

**“I’m not going to hurt you, relax… have a seat.”** he gestured back to the bed but I do not trust him, I stay where I am hunched and ready for anything,  he sighs and points to a chair

**“Then May I sit?”**  I blink, confused he is asking me?  I watch confused a moment before slowly nodding,  the chair is at a desk, still a good distance from me,  I can watch him walk to it. He settles, I am surprised by the grace and smoothness of his movements.

**“I am sure you have many questions, for now I will tell you. My name is Wingdings Aster.  I am A very powerful monster not just with magic but personally.”** He states this calmly I am struck by his honesty.  ‘He’ would have bragged about power and status, this Monster… Wingdings?  He simply stated it, a fact, no bragging no pride, it simply was.

**“I am most commonly referred to by my associates as Don Gaster, You are welcome to address me as you like.”** he explained further confusing me,  How I would like? I am undertaine how to handle that…

**“Are you hungry?”** he asks abruptly, What an odd question… but… I frown touching my belly, am I hungry?  I try to think when I had last eaten… certainly before the arena.. Well before… so… slowly I nod I can only assume the feeling in my belly in hunger.  The monster… hmm.. Gaster, stands and walks back towards the door He opens it, but only slightly blocking my view of outside he says something quietly and there is another voice softer, lighter… feminine?  Then the door is closed and he makes his way back to the desk and sits offering me a faint smile

**“Something will be brought up for you shortly.”** he said smoothly then falls silent and simply watchs me, watch him.  The silence doesn't bother me, but this strange behavior does. I am uncertain what to do or how to act,  Part of me thinks I could act, I could kill him and escape, I was not bound in anyway after all… 

 

_ Not bound… _

 

Another part of me latches on to this singular fact.  Before, in the cell he had given her back to me, he had fixed her and released me from those belts to do so,  I look down at my wrist she is still there, safe…

**“I will arrange for someone to come here to fix it while you watch if you like.”** he said drawing my attention back to him.

**“As I understand it, you don’t like having it away from you yes?”**  again I nod slowly.

**“I don’t think you would know how to repair it properly but if I have someone come to us and fix it while you watch and then immediately return it, would that be better?  With proper links it shouldn’t snap as often, and you’ll no longer need frays string.”**  That was a point…  I study her, then I look to him carefully then roll my shoulders.  No, I could never pass her off to a stranger. This monster may have been kind so far but I will not release her to anyone.

**“Perhaps we’ll discuss it another time, when you are more comfortable.”** he says calmly.  I’m surprised to say the least.  In fact this whole interaction has been surprising, and frankly Part of me is not happy about that.  I do not care for surprises, However as he has made no moves to attack I slowly ease down, my eyes stay on him as I sit my legs crossed watching him curiously trying to understand him.

**“Can you speak?”** he asks, not a demand he seems, more curious than anything else.

_ “S-S…. Sp-speak….” _ I manage my voice is hoarse and it is a struggle.  I do not speak often, only when I need more string, I ask for nothing else, I speak of nothing else.  A beast does not need to.

**“Hrmm.  That looked like it was painful for you, does your throat ache?”** he asks briskly.  He is full of odd questions.  My throat I reach up touching it carefully, no…

**“No, not the skin,  Inside, when you speak does it hurt?”** he asks clarifying  Oh, the inside? I frown thoughtfully well only ne real way to know

_ “S-sp-speak….” _ I flinch  oh, well… it does hurt… How surprising.  I had become so accustomed to pain I had simply ignored it as I had all other pain.  He stands and walks over slowly watching me as carefully as I watch him, I tense drawing in drawing back my lip curling he lifts his hand up, palms out,  I know this sign, sometimes it is shown in the arena, someone who doesn't want me to kill them… I know this sign…

 

_ MERCY _

 

I am not in the arena… My duties there are not here…  Slowly I relax watching as he crouches now at my level he is less intimidating.  The hole in his palm glows green and I tense ready to be restrained… but I am not.

 

_ Why not? _

 

I peek open an eye and see the tips of his fingers glow the same green,  carefully letting me watch his every move he reaches out and touches my throat rubbing his fingers on it in slow circles, it feels strange and tingly… but not bad.  It’s kind of soothing Maybe… like drinking something that fizzes down the throat? Cold but nice. I am not sure what word best describes it.

_ “They aren’t damaged.  The pain comes from not speaking often, and your throat is dry, You need water.” _ he said calmly pulling his hand back he turned at what seemed to be a quiet timely knock at the door.  I withdraw instantly as he stands, again he opened the door only a little, and his body blocks my view. The voice is back… she seems… cheerful.  She says she is ‘happy’ but that is all I hear there is a little bit of talking before Gaster turns holding a tray, he stays in place until the door is closed, presumably by who ever he was speaking to,

He approaches, slowly again… he is so careful… frightened of me?  Probably

 

_ I am a vile beast. _

 

_ I am death. _

 

He sets the tray on the floor in front of me and sits again on the floor offering me a smile.  I look at the trey and frown, Oh… food for him, Now I understand, He had asked to tease me… Maybe he is not so different from ‘Him’ after all.

There is no bowl for my feed, instead there is a plate with what looks like … Meat?  I think, I am unfamiliar with the foods I see, there are green things that look like tiny trees, and orange things… a memory old almost forgotten tells me these are Broccoli and carrots.

A fluffy pile of something white M-mash… Potatoes?  Mashed potatoes yes I am certain that is what they are.  A smaller plate has bread. This I recognize, it steams a little and gives off warmth, yellow stuff is inside… it is melting and looks… it looks very good…

Monsters where cruel it seemed he was going to sit there and make me watch him eat.

Despite my disappointment I say nothing, my expression returns to a flat scrutiny.  I will not allow him to bait me. He watches me a moment before frowning thoughtfully,  he reaches out grabbing the bread roll and ripping it in half. Fresh steam rolling out in silvery streams, then he bites into one half while holding the other out to me.  I watch him carefully. What is he doing?

 

_ What do you want? _

 

His arm moves as he holds out the bread coaxingly I reach up and carefully take it waiting watching unsure of myself… and of him…

He chews his bite and swallows then smiles

**“See?  It’s safe.”** he says easily  I am confused, why would he tell me… It hits me.  He thought… He thought I thought the food was wrong…  He was showing me it was safe.

“F...F-for me?” I ask carefully.  Speaking is easier this time, and far less painful. 

**“There's no one else here.”** he pointed out I scowl and pointed at him.  Why wouldn’t I think it was for him after all only ‘He’ ate food like this!  I ate an animals food, as a beast should, how was I supposed to understand this nice food was meant to be for me?!  Was it even or was this some trick?

 

*

 

Gaster sighed staring at the pointing finger he noticed however she hadn’t released the bread.  This was going to be harder then he had originally expected, She was so alert, on guard, He had a vague idea of how long she’d been kept as a fighter, but what about before?  Shouldn’t she have enough of her life before then to understand somethings.

Then he remembered something that human had said about his ‘assets’… many of them were mentally disabled.  Fractured some way. It made them more pliable, easier to condition and control, and more than a few people were willing to give up their damaged children for much needed money.

**“I guess I should have clarified then.”** he said and swept a hand through the air over the food

**“This is all for you to eat.  Please enjoy it.”** he said calmly.  She stared at him a long moment as if waiting for him to trick her before diving into the bread eating ravenously.  As he suspected, she would ignore her own needs as long as possible to ensure her safety and some understanding of a situation.

And apparently she’d never used cutlery,  She reached down grabbing the slices of cooked ham from the plate and tore into it like an animal.  She’d been treated like one for so long he couldn’t really be surprised by it. At least she was eating.  He had worried for a moment that she wouldn’t, and he’d have to force her, he didn’t want to damage a relationship before it even started by doing that.

Once she’d eaten everything (Which took very little time and a surprising amount of noise.) she began to lick her fingers clean for the moment ignoring him in the interest of getting every morsel from her hands… 

How could such a simple gesture be so damn erotic!

Was that an effect of her being his mate? Was he so damn touch starved that even just a womans tongue could inflame him?  He wasn’t sure, couldn’t be sure.

**“Well, at least I know you liked it.”** he said blandly as she shot him a look before shifting a little before nodding.

**“I’m going to ask you for something, it’s not much, But I think it’s only fair for now.”** he said calmly,  she jerked her head up to watch him instantly suspicious.  It was difficult not to laugh, she was almost… cute, the way she was so quick to bare her teeth.  His most skilled enforcers weren’t half as ready to defend themselves, or him for that matter.

**“It’s not much, I promise  I will ask very little of you today so you can adjust to what will come in the future.”** he said simply, his words didn’t do much to relax her, but that was reasonable.  She should be ready and expect the difficulties that lay ahead. Though he wondered if anything that came with being his mate would be as difficult as being in that arena.

She frowned thoughtfully before nodding and watched him waiting for his request, it seemed she was willing at least.

**“I would like you to say my name.”** he requested simply.  Perhaps it was too simple because she stared at him a long silent moment stunned by the request.  Before he could excuse her however he saw her expression change, she was thinking… did she think this was a trap… maybe.  Setting her palms against the floor she took a breath and looked him in the eye as if steeling herself for a strike,

That human would die for what he had done to her.

“D...un…. D-don… G-Gast-Gaster…”  she was shaking so hard her voice trembled, she was absolutely terrified and trying so hard not to show it.  And failing for that matter. He instantly wanted to reach out and reassure her but he couldn’t her mind was to fragile.

**“A good start, again, just Gaster.”** he instructed simply.

“G-G… G-gaster.” she said again carefully shaking less, close… he savored it, her voice his name.  It would be a long while before he could claim her fully, A long while before she cried out his name in reapture, so he would enjoy this for now.

**“Once more, you’re still hesitating.”** he chided lightly,  she scowled he could see the way her back went up at the scolding

“Gaster!” she snapped out patience wearing thin as she glared at him,  He gave in and chuckled surprising her back into sitting.

**“There you go, simple yes?  Now I know you can say it I feel confident… If you are ever in trouble, if you ever need help and for some reason I am not right at your side, you call my name, shout it as best you can and I will come to you.”** he said shifting forward shoving the trey away there was a clatter as the glass tipped on the tray. 

He needed…

She had jerked her head to look at the crash of glass the sound startling her but as he grabbed her shoulder she looked up at him stunned barely having a moment to process before he pressed a forceful kiss against her lips, he needed it, just this small touch if he was going to hold back and let her heal he needed this little bit to tide him over.

Affirmation that she was his finally after all this time.

 


	3. Chapter 3

_ I don’t know what to do! _

 

I sat there stunned for the briefest second then reached up grabbing his tie and pulling, I snarled get off! what are you doing? what is this?

 

_ Stop! _

 

He moves grabbing my wrist and my shoulder I reach up grabbing his shoulder and push  then… it’s strange..

I pull the tie, not to get him away My hand relaxes on his shoulder

I feel odd, but good.  I am not sure what he is doing but I want more.  I shift forward keeping contact when he tries to break it.  Oh no he doesn't, he started this he could damn well stay until I was done.

He seemed pleased by this and I felt something strange against my lips warm and strong I am acting on instinct when I open my mouth and let it invade, it tastes odd but not bad, a tongue?  It wraps and rubs along my own coaxing it into a dance of sorts I shift hand still gripping the tie I can feel the hand on my shoulder slide down to my back as he pulls me closer 

 

_ More more… _

 

I growl shifting and shoving at him he goes letting himself fall back mindful of his head I crawl onto him knees on either side hands braced on the carpet the tie like a leash the way it’s wrapped around my hand as I stare down at him

He holds my gaze smiling faintly brow arched as if wondering what I would do now. What would I do? I floundered the last person I had pinned like this I had killed…

I didn’t want to kill this monster.  I sigh growling and crawling off him uncertain of what's going on inside me.  I can’t get very far because he grabs my wrist

**“I’m not mad at you.”** he said softly studying my face a moment

**“Or, are you mad at me?  I suppose it was unfair but I needed something to tide me over, I don’t think a kiss is so much to ask.”** he says with a smirk

“K-kiss?” I asked turning to him curiously, is that what it was called.  His eyes go wide and he jerks up staring at me oddly before nodding

**“Yes… have you, not been kissed before?”** he asked carefully  I shake my head there's something odd in his expression

**“What exactly did you do for the human?”** he asked sitting up fully and staring at me. It seems incredibly important to him and there is no reason to keep it a secret.

“Fought in the area… always cage.” I explained lightly He frowned

**“Only in the arena?  You only ever fought?”**  I nodded he frowned thoughtfully then asked me something weird

**“Did you ever fight while naked?  With your clothes off?”** he asked what a strange question.

“No, Cloths only off when washing.” I said matter of factly,  He made a face and turned rubbing his chin, he seemed confused.. Upset? And a little relieved

 

_ Why? _

 

“Why?” I ask, when he doesn't answer I am annoyed, and confused so I crawl over so he has to look at me scowling up at him

“Why?” I ask again he sighs reaching out and I brace myself for a hit instead his hand settles on my head ruffling my hair again

**“You don’t know what sex is do you?”** he asks and despite myself I giggle I remember that word that was a silly word,  Before I had been sold, kids at school had used it sometimes, it was a word that was said in hushed tones and laughed about.

**“That’s a no then… hrmm… This suddenly got a lot more complicated. Though I must admit I am relieved.  If he had raped you I would have killed him and everyone in the building before burning it to the ground.”** he said frankly I stare at him surprised

“Not sure… rape?  He.. you are speaking of ‘Him’?” I asked trying to clarify Gaster nodded then surprised my by slipped his hands under my arms and pulling me onto his lap turning me so my back was against his chest 

**“Yes, the Human who kept you I mean.** ” he said I could feel his chin a little on my scalp as he spoke and tired to look up but couldn’t so instead I settled, he was big, I felt kind of good like I fit in a little pocket of warmth.  His arms were secure around me but not tight, or even painful.

**“Rape is something that happens when someone very strong wants to hurt someone who isn’t…  They do things to the body, it doesn't kill them but it is painful and invasive. It is a horrible act One I do not permit of my men.”** He said darkly that caught my attention  Invasive… painful….

“Bad thing… hurt, small girl.” I managed, I hate speaking, I seem to think well enough and I understand most things but speaking is a struggle, it’s not that I don’t know how I just can’t ever seem to say what I can think.   He shifted so I could look up at him

“Not naked, but, put body in her body… hurt her badly.  She did not speak many many days after.” I explained carefully it had been so long ago I had almost forgotten.

**“Who?”** he asked

“Her… her…” I lift my arm and show him the bracelet I can feel tears, it hurts… it hurts…

“I killed… I killed hard.” I said firmly he deserved it, he hurt her he made her cry he didn’t deserve anything but suffering and death “I asked… ‘Him’ to buy her free… so she c-could go home.” I explained.  Gaster needed to understand I’m sure he will I’m sure that he isn’t the same as ‘him’ he’s different!

“I went to cages, I killed many many for money to win her free but ‘he’ is Liar ‘he’ put her in cage ‘He’ let her die!”  I could feel it I was getting more upset I didn’t know what to do about it except get angry my hands fisted in the fancy fabric of the vest he wore

“Let me kill ‘him’! Let me kill ‘Him’ and I do everything you ask, I kill, I hurt anyone, I will learn sex I will do all… let me Kill ‘Him’ and get others out… no more… no more hurt small!” I demand this of him, I am desperate, I don’t care if this is a test this may be my only chance, if it was a test it was stupid it was no secret I wanted to end ‘Him’  Make ‘Him’ suffer for what ‘he’ did ‘He’ would learn nothing new if this was a test of loyalty or some other garbage.

Gaster moved his hands covering mine on his vest and gently pulling them free before nodding dipping his head he turned my hands and kissed the palms.

**“I will… in time.”** he said softly

**“If you want it I’ll let you tear that whole building down and slaughter everyone inside at your leisure… but first you must rest.  Your body has gone through more straine in it’s short years then a seasoned monster warrior. I wish to heal you, to take away as much of your pain as I can.”** he said softly shifting brushing back her hair

**“Consider this promise a wedding gift.”** he said  I tilt my head more than a little confused, the word strikes something some vague foggy memory, wedding….

“Wedding is… to marry yes?” I ask to clarify he nodded and I frown I remember… white dresses full and sparkling like a princess,  beautiful flowers, music and fun a big cake bigger and taller then even me… I think I have been to one before but it was so so long ago I was so very small…

There had been dancing and music and laughter and so much happiness had there been gifts?  I couldn’t remember

“I… do not understand… I not married.”  I explained, confusion rules me now, a wedding gift?  What did weddings even have to do with this? The monster chuckled turning me in his lap so I was facing him.

**“You will be, that’s what I want… you see, You’re already mine.”** he said leaning forward and nuzzling my neck it felt weird but not unpleasant so I let him do it, fighting it seemed stupid, he’d given me no reason to attack, this wasn’t the arena.

**“When your recovered, and have had a chance to learn a bit, then I will marry you officially.  The city is fond of paperwork…”** he mused teeth scraping the skin on my throat I gasped shuddering ooohh ok that felt very very strange.  Again not painful but so different, I had felt it make tingles all through me.

“Why?” I found myself asking,  If I remembered the movies I had liked back then people got married when they loved each other, and maybe only prince and princess?  All the people in the movies at least one of them was a prince… or a princess.

“Are you a prince?” I ask suspiciously.  I don’t think he is, I don’t know though, I do not know many things and it makes this whole situation even more difficult.  He pulled back staring at me a long moment before laughing and shaking his head

**“No no not at all, w-why would you even think that?”** he asked through his laughter, I feel stupid now for asking but… well

“Only.. prince or princess married.  I am not princess, You are not prince, cannot marry.” I explained annoyed I did not like being laughed at but this explanation only seems to make him laugh harder.  Offended I pushed from his grasp and stood walking to the door, I don’t like being laughed at, what's so damn funny anyway I know I’m not very smart, I only got to go to school for a little while.. I’m just a beast really just a monster with a stupid broken brain and…

I’m grabbed and gasp trying to pull away as he makes me turn, looking away to hide my eyes.  They sting, I must be crying, but it feels stupid to cry because I know I am stupid. I know I don’t know anything because of what I am, even if I had gone to school I’d be stupid, they made sure I knew that.  That’s why they sold me, that's why… 

 

_ Stupid _

 

He pulls me against him, I struggle a little but not very hard and eventually I give up gripping his vest

“I’m stupid…” I said weakly he hugged me tighter

**“No… No you’re not, I’m sorry I laughed at you, I was just surprised is all, it was the strangest thing… but not stupid, never stupid.”** he said softly 

“I am stupid, That's why I am a beast, that's why I can be death, because I am stupid.  I wouldn’t have been good at school so they gave me to someone else to be useful!” I said angrily, those people whose faces I couldn’t remember. He sighed gently stroking my hair until I felt myself calming.  I felt so warm when he held me… why was that?

**“You’re not stupid, you just haven’t had a chance to learn,  You where a kid when you where sold right? So you only have a kids knowledge, and whatever you picked up in the cell, in the arena,  That doesn’t make you stupid.”** he said firmly hands on my shoulders he pushed me back so he could look me in the eye.

**“Marrying you is just a formality, to fulfil the human need for paperwork,  You are already mine, You can feel it can’t you? As soon as you saw me, You had to feel it because I felt it, I knew..”** he trailed and I thought about the first glimpse, that strange feeling that he had seen me through the slot in the cage door

“Y-you saw me…  in cage.” I manage looking at him  shifting I touch my head “I thought… Imagination, but was sure here.” I said hand sliding to my chest he almost sagged with relief as I looked at him confused

“How?” I demanded, there was so much about this I didn’t know, didn’t understand he needed to start giving me some answers.  He moved bony hand cradling my cheek thumb gently brushing under my eye wiping away a tear that had escaped me I could see it a small drop balanced on the bone.  He smirked lifting it to his mouth and licking it off I’m not sure why but the action shocked me to the core.

“W-why?!” I asked helplessly, what on earth?  He merely leaned forward and kissed my forehead

**“You won’t understand it yet… but we are soul mates.  You were born for me. I wanted to give you a chance to grow up.  So I didn’t seek you out when we first came to the surface.”** he said shifting hugging me again I can feel bones rubbing my scalp gently

**“Humans have such different standards, they live such different lives.  I wanted you to have a chance to live life, to experience things before you became tied to me.  I am sorry, because of that you got hurt. I never would have imagined that you’d end up like that.”** he said gently the bony fingers combing through my hair, slowly soothingly, it’s a nice feeling.  I’m so used to be in fights hurting and being hurt, just being gently touched like this, it’s so different… so nice.

“Monsters know a lot about SOULS.” I managed remembering something I had heard once he nodded

**“How much do you know?”** he asked,  I blushed looking away what do I know?  I… I don’t know any-

**“Relax, I can see you thinking you don’t know anything but that’s not true, now relax… You’re smart, you listen and observe so… what do you know about SOULS?”** he asked again his fingers lightly grabbing my chin making me look at him, his eye lights glowed softly almost reassuring.

I need to think,  No one… no one has ever told me I’m smart before.  I do not want to disappoint him so I think about all the things I have heard guards and other fighters say over the years.

“Humans and Monsters both have SOULS…  Human SOULS are very strong, But the human body is very weak… Monster SOULS are weak, but their bodies are very strong… Very strong… in arena they are hardest opponents.” I said trying to think, what else was there?

“Monster bodies strong with magic, to protect weak SOUL, A-and… mmm… Monsters can absorb human SOULS… eat?  Mmm… This makes monster stronger.” I said sighing that was all I could think of, I glanced up at him ashamed but to my surprise he was smiling proudly at me,

**“Good job.  That’s exactly right.”** he said gently and kissed my forehead

**“Each soul gives off its own pulse of magic.”** he began to fill in the gaps as he moved back pulling me along to sit again settling me in his lap.  He likes to hold me… like to touch me and I can’t object. I enjoy the soft touches and gentle deep sound of his voice as he talks.

**“Souls that are meant to be together will pulse with the same magic.  Humans aren’t as aware of it as monsters are. They lost a lot of their magic after sealing us underground.”** he explained.  He told me many things, how souls that match reach out to find each other.  How gender, species, none of that mattered because it was the souls.

It’s wonderful the way he talks… he’s not talking down to me, he’s talking to me.. Educating me.  Like he does honestly believe I am smart and can learn. I’m not sure I believe it but I want to try my best because he believes in me…  I feel so nice… so warm... So… so… happy…

 

*

 

He glanced down pausing in his explanation of Soul sciences and study, she’d fallen asleep on him.  Unlike before when he had put her to sleep, this was natural and she looked so peaceful. He marveled at how small and vulnerable she looked.  He didn’t blame his sons for being shocked to learn she was Death. No one would ever believe it.

And now here she was.

It angered and frustrated him to hear her say things like she was ‘stupid’ Her desperation to free the others. Her anger and blood lust against the man who had killed her partner.  She had been even willing to barter sex, which she knew so little about for a chance at the man…

He shifted holding her close.

He would never demand sex for something like that, well he’d never demand sex period.  For something she really wanted though? To expect her to service him in anyway in exchange was a sick thought and would only turn what they had into something cheap and vile.

That wasn’t what he wanted.

It was strange how strong the protective urge inside him was.  He knew other monsters who where more than happy to just use their weaker soulmate for sex keeping them like a pet rather than their other half.

He was surprised to find he wasn’t like that.  Ha, not that she was a weaker half. She wasn’t weak at all.  Despite her feelings to the contrary. Despite her helpless grief.  No, she was so damn strong…

He shifted carefully so he could cradle her in his arms, moving to stand he carried her back to the bed and settled her.  The clothing she wore would need to change, she still had splashes of blood but it was one of the few familiar things she had now so he let her keep them on.  They were odd. A white body suit like thing that zipped up the back, it had long sleeves and legs but left her hands and feet uncovered it wasn’t skin tight but it hugged close enough that there was no loose fabric to snag on anything.  Over that was a white top, it had a high roll neck type collar and was sleeveless.

Aside from the fresh blood of her early fights there were stains from other times, other fights.  He wondered how often she was allowed to change and wash. He knew she could he had seen the little shower corner in the call…  he also knew that son of a bitch had watched because the three security cameras covered the entire room. She hadn’t even been able to relieve herself without being observed.

He sat on the edge of the bed watching her sleep, there was so much he wanted to do for her, do with her.  This was a whole new world to her, not more white cells, no more drugs no more fighting. If she wanted it she could live a life of absolute luxury.  If she wanted it… he chuckled, he had a feeling she wouldn’t want that.

He reached out brushing hair from her face

Her skin was so soft…

He shifted, he had promised himself he wouldn’t force sex, but… kissing, well, that wasn’t so bad... 

He slipped from the room a little while later leaving the door unlocked this time.  She needed to know she was trusted, she wasn’t a prisoner, not locked in. He followed the long hall from the east wing down to the main greeting room,  Papyrus was sitting scribbling more notes while Sans and Frisk sat on a long antique couch,

**“She’s sleeping again.”** Gaster said simply as he walked in all eyes turning to him when he did so.

“Was the food ok?” Frisk asked Gaster nodded

**“Yes, thank you.  Though helping her realize she was allowed to eat it was a challenge…”** He said scowling, Papyrus frowned arching a questioning brow

“Did she think it was tampered with?  I wouldn’t have thought her capable of assuming that.” he said briskly.  To any other it might have sounded thoughtless and harsh but Gaster knew his son and knew it wasn’t said maliciously… good thing to.

**“No, she honestly did not believe the food was for her, she thought I had it brought up for me to eat while she watched.  Many of her behaviors are telling of the kind of life she has led till now.”** he said with a heavy sigh moving to sit in his armchair rubbing his forehead.

“That’s terrible… But, she didn’t seem aggressive when I delivered the food so there's that at least.” Frisk said trying to encourage him Gaster offered a small smile at the attempt before nodding that was true.

**“When she wakes I’d like you to speak with her a little.  I think it would help her, to speak to another woman. Her only companion was killed and it still deeply affects her.  I also think she might find another woman's presence comforting. The men around her have either owned her or been targets of the arena. There is a lot she needs to know but it is imperative she not base her feelings for me on any sort of hero worship or feeling of debt.”** he said firmly Frisk nodded 

“Of course Gaster, anything you need.” she said easily.  Sans smiled touching her cheek lightly before looking to his father

“What's the next step about them?” he asked curiously

**“We will make the move when she is ready.  She has suffered greatly in the hands of that human, has been broken terribly, when she has healed some, I will allow her to seek retribution, you will help her with this.”** he said Sans nodded easily accepting the older skeletons order.  This was something he was more than happy to do. He had a very deep hate for slavers, and pitting kids against each other in death matches for entertainment, taking those kids from their families, making them into shells for blood and sport?  It pissed him off royally.

He grabbed Frisks hand That could have so easily happened to her when she had been young. But it hadn’t, instead she’d grown and fallen into the underground… and they had found each other…  Seeming to sense his train of thought Frisk shifted closer to him resting her head on his shoulder. Gaster was silent watching them a moment He had been so shocked and angered at first but Frisk had settled so surprisingly well into the family.  Would She be like that? Would she sit with him touch him give him those quiet looks he saw sometimes pass between his son and the human.

He knew he liked holding her.  Just having her in his lap leaning against his chest as he spoke, she had been so warm, so soft.  She’d fit so perfectly in his arms. He wanted to teach her, she was so interested, Those who had convinced her she was stupid where the true idiots.  They had simply refused to see her potential.

She had survived and became the longest strongest victor in the arena she was Death.  A stupid person wouldn’t have lasted half as long as she had.

Seeing her fight had been a beautiful display,  her body moved so cleanly so smoothly, not a single wasted breath or movement, she was efficient.  That clod of a human had no idea of her trues value. Even if she hadn’t been his soulmate he’s certain he would have claimed her for his own.  She was fascinating, she drew him a moth to flame, ready and willing to be burned because god in that instant with would be perfect.

He would burn gladly to be with her.

He looked at Papyrus, Part of him felt guilty,  finding something so precious while his other son hadn’t yet shown any sign of finding a partner.  Not even a soulmate but someone who might… make him happy.

He certainly never went out to meet anyone outside of business and he had never brought anyone home (Admittedly Gaster preferred it that way but he was surprised Papyrus hadn’t even tried sneaking a woman in. Or a man… or anyone)

His free time was spent scribbling something in his notebook, though what he was writing Gaster didn’t know.  He had asked once and Papyrus had uncharacteristically clammed up, so Gaster hadn’t pressed. Papyrus was a fairly open personality he kept few secrets and So Gaster did his best to respect his sons privacy.

So they sat in companionable silence, Sans and Frisk chatting quietly occasionally asking Gaster or Papyrus their opinions on thing. Keeping the two in the loop, though offering Papyrus a bit more attention giving Gaster time to think.  First things first would be to get her clothes. He didn’t know i she’d want to leave the house yet though but she needed something to wear. Even if she had been given a c hacne to bathe those clothes needed washing. It wasn’t hygienic for humans so fester in their own dirt and blood.

That brought to mind another issue.  The human had said she couldn’t breed, Not wanting to out himself Gaster hadn’t dug for details but the man had simply stated that precautions had been taken once she’d been prepared for the arena.  What did that mean? When he healed her next he would take a look. He’d know if anything was damaged or missing.

He hadn’t exactly thought about children.  He had his sons and was happy, but what if, as she grew and learned she decided she wanted her own, a baby to hold?  He shook his head, way to early for those kinds of thoughts but it was all tied into each other, really that system was one big question mark for now,

Cloths… 

Frisk was to tall he he couldn’t use her as a model, how was he going to do this?

**“Papyrus.”**

His youngest looked up instantly pausing mid-letter always ready to answer his fathers summons.

**“I need you to collect information on the woman clothing stores in the area, smaller less crowded shops but good quality.”** he said Papyrus nodded changing pages and taking note as Gaster spoke

**“I want to know a little bit about the shops and how they would Cater to someone skittish and unused to shopping.  I will be there as well but it’s important they understand their focus will be helping my guest. Bring me all this information this evening, Once I determine a shop I would like you to inform them and make sure they are aware they will not be open to other customers until we are finished.”** he said clearly  Papyrus nodded writing down the instructions before standing and striding from the room.  No time like the present. Unlike Sans who got his work done in a calm easy pace Papyrus was the type to do his work as soon as it was given.

Satisfied Gaster leaned back in the chair and sighed, he felt a lot more relaxed then he had in such a long time.  She was here with him… It would be a long time before they could properly mate but now here he could make sure no one ever harmed her again.


	4. Chapter 4

I wake slowly,  I feel… warm and nice.  The heaviness of being drugged isn’t dragging me down and the room isn’t cold.  So I lay enjoying the warmth until I remember where I am… I am in the home of a Monster,  He had taken me away from that place. I shift slowly sitting up, movement catches my eye and I look over the monster, Gaster.  

He’s sitting at the desk and standing next to him is a girl she has short dark hair and a friendly smile, I launch back across the bed and hiss threateningly as my mind registers two things, a master and a servant, a lord and his fighter.  I slip so easily into it ready to kill a new opponent to do what I have been made to do. The girl flinches and Gaster stands stepping forward immediately in front of her watching me intently as I watch them

**“Easy, easy,  I thought you might like to speak with another woman.”** he said one hand up as if I were… a wild animal… I flinch back sickened as I realise she’s not a fighter and he hadn’t gone back on his word…

 

_I’m just a devil…_

 

_I’m the real monster_

 

I crawl backwards so I’m on the other side of the bed kneeling on the floor clutching the blanket and staring at the both a long moment.  There’s something in my throat a word I know it… it’s an important a word she used to say it a lot if they hurt her….

“S….s….”

They watched me quietly As I try to remember the word… S yes S is how it started, it’s been so long and I have blocked out so much, it is so much easier to kill in the arena if I just fade to nothing.  What comes after, how does it go? The girl nods encouragingly watching me close, Gaster had relaxed but was still ahead of her blocking me from her… or? He’d seemed so protective of me before, Was he… protecting me?  Was he somehow protecting me?

“S-so…. Sorry…” I manage to say but I won’t move from my spot… I am death I will frighten her, she’s so small and soft just like her.  I don’t want to go near her I don’t want to kill her. He said he brought her here for me? To speak with another woman? Why should I? I didn’t really like speaking at all… was this some kind of game a trick why?  I’m stupid so stupid how could I trust him I know better, I know better! People lie, they promise one thing and then do something else I know this have always known, I am a devil of course he wouldn’t really want to help me!  I watch them both nervously not willing to leave my spot I feel so betrayed. I don’t want any of this being here was already so much, I keep waiting to open my eyes and see white again, I’m terrified...

**“You don’t need to be afraid.”** he said gently easing forward slowly Walking around the bed, the girl stays where she was watching us while I switch between watching her and watching Gaster crawling backward slowly until my back hits the wall No… no… I-I don’t want to hurt him but I’m so scared he reaches out and I flinch guard up.

**“Ah…  I’m not going to hurt you.”** he says gently his hand settling gently on my raised arm  but not pushing it or moving it, it simply rests there… reassuringly.

“N-no… M-might hurt you… scared…” I managed weakly, slowly lowering my arm, he watches me surprised by my admission, it’s all over his face, the shock.

**“Scared?  Of what?”** he asked looking from me then to the girl

**“Does it bother you I brought her here?”** he asked and I nod slowly he’s right I am scared, but not for the reasons he’s probably thinking, I am not worried she will hurt me, I am not frightened of her, I am frightened of what I can do to her, and what he can do to me.. I know I can kill them both, I know for her it would b relatively easy, for him, a struggle that might kill us both but he would die…  I am a devil…

**“She won’t hurt y-”** he stopped watching my face and letting out a soft laugh “Oh… I see,  It’s not her your scared of, is it?” he asked softly leaning closer bracing a hand on either side of me on the wall he’s so close….

**“You won’t hurt her, I know that.  You’re scared, just like you where at first with me, but think about it… if you were going to hurt her you wouldn’t be afraid like this would you?”** he asked his voice is soothing and I frown at his words… there is logic there. one hand moved and begins brushing through my hair again.  I like it when he does that it’s so oddly soothing.

**“You would have just… attacked. Because that's what your training taught you t do, not think but act.  You’re thinking, so you won’t hurt her I trust you.”** he said softly the hand sliding down and under my chin tipping my head up so I faced him fully.  I’m not sure how to respond to that but I can’t look away

“Last person… trust me… died anyway…” I said weakly Gaster nodded

**“But she died because of someone else.  It was nothing you did or didn’t do, she died because someone else was a liar.  Here it’s just you and me.”** he said his voice is still gentle coaxing me into calm his other hand has moved and now he frames my face

**“You didn’t break her trust.”** he said firmly, he must be able to see I don’t believe me looking me in the eyes so intently but I offer a weak smile anyway and nod

“I can go if it’s to much for her now, I don’t want to overwhelm her.” the girl said catching my attention Gaster looked over his shoulder

**“No, everything fine now, she was just nervous weren’t you Angel? But it’s ok now, you’re ok now.”** he said gently his voice ever reassuring hands falling to my shoulder rubbing them gently, the touch, the motion reassuring and helping me relax more.  Was he right? Did I have that much control?

“I-I’m ok n-now…. I-I’m ok now…. I’m ok now…” I said softly repeating it until I could say it without hesitation I am ok now.  He smiles and I smile back I feel better. It’s odd how words can have such an effect.

“I’m sorry for surprising her, I think I get it.  She’s woken up to a stranger in her room, probably still feeling a little unsteady being outside of that awful place,  who wouldn’t be uncertain, you said she’d been there for so many years? Did she ever see outside that cell and arena? She’s probably super overwhelmed.” the girl said gently, I’m surprised she seems to understand, or at least a little bit.  Gaster frowns thoughtfully as he looks at me, I wish I knew what he was thinking, he seems to do it a lot and I feel like I’d get my bearings better if I knew what he thought about.

**“I hadn’t really thought about that, for a human years are a lot longer then for a monster…”** he mumbled softly then looked at me and sighed smiling

**“If you don’t want to do this now, you don’t have to.”** he said gently, he’s giving me and out, the girl had been willing to go as well… they were both doing this… for me...

“J-just talk?” I asked nervously they looked over at me, the girl smiling and nodding while Gaster watched me.  After a moment he stood, then took a step back I stay where I am a moment then slowly as the girl stands there holding out a relaxed hand I crawl onto the bed and sit still close enough to the edge to drop if I need to.  She smiled seeming to understand and accept that before she points to the other side of the bed, and the opposite corner making sure to give me as much space as possible while Gaster walks around and settle back in the chair by the desk.

“Can I sit?” she asks, all her movements are very smooth and gentle.  She is wearing clothes that make me think of a dark princess. It is a pretty dress, black with red lace and ribbons… the skirt is full and down to her knees kind of… puffy I think is the word.  The red on her clothing is lighter than the red on Gasters cloths, it’s brighter where as Gasters is darker the difference between fresh and old blood.

“You can sit.” I say finally as she watches me, she had been waiting for my permission,  it’s weird having people ask me my opinion asking it it’s ok to do things, Part of me wants to tell them they can do what they want and part of me is very glad they are asking how I feel.  The girl seems pleased by my answer, even though she seems happy however she moves slowly as she sits, careful not to startle me I guess. I don’t really know what to think why are they going out of their way to do so much for me?  It feels good, and confusing, Nice, and scary… are they really what they seem or is this a trick? As I consider this she moves so she mirrors me her legs crossed facing me fully

“My name is Frisk,  my soulmate is Gasters son Sans.  You’ll meet him and Papyrus soon but we don’t want to overwhelm you, this is a lot to take in, you life is, changing in a major way.” she explained gently her voice is soft and soothing and I nod glancing at Gaster surprised, a faint tinge of red crosses the bone, is he… shy?

I want to believe what she says, she seems so kind it’s different, when ‘He’ was nice to me before there was always a feeling of danger he had a smile that put me on guard,  his questions and offers always came with conditions but… I don’t get that feeling here. When I talk to Gaster, I feel, warm and safe.

“Gaster asked me to meet with you first because, I have a soulmate, I’m human, and I’m a girl.  We all agreed you might feel more comfortable meeting me first, talking with me, asking questions.” she explained, the rational made sense.  They, they meaning more than one, without even knowing me… had considered how to make me most comfortable. But… she said human, like she considered me human as well, not a devil.

“I-I… don’t know what to say, what to talk about… I have.. Been in that room for so long, I don’t really think about anything else… except surviving,  but lately. I wonder why I fight at all… why I’ve bothered… staying alive and killing all those people.” I explained quietly Frisk nodded slowly

“I can’t say I know… I’ve never been in your shoes, I’ve never suffered that way, but I have… had my own struggles.” she paused holding her wrist I watch but she seems to be thinking of something,  I can’t figure it out but then she smiles

“You can tell me whatever you want, but if you don’t want to talk about things like that maybe you can ask me some questions.” she offers,  again she’s trying to give me options but… I’m helpless to think of anything.

“w-what should ask?” I wondered looking at her, she smiled shrugging

“Anything, if I can answer it I will, ok? If I can’t I’ll try to answer what I can.” she said sheepishly,  her shyness makes me smile again, she… she feels nice. It’s hard to explain but I feel relaxed talking to this woman, Frisk.

“Ok…. mmm… hmmm… “ I frowned trying to think of what to ask… I’ve… I haven’t asked anyone questions in a very long time…  I’ve never really needed to for one, after losing her I didn’t want to know anything, and then after once I’d become Death I simply so no need in asking things, I knew what I needed to know to kill who was before me.  There was no point to anything else.

“MMmmm… I am… Death,   You are human… he is, monster... Other? Death?” I ask  she seems confused looking at me then to Gaster but he seemed perplexed as well.  It takes me a moment to realise I need to be clearer with my wording. I know what I meant but they can’t read my mind either, they need to hear my full thought.

“A-are there… other Death?  Devil, like me?” I ask weakly  Frisk blinked as I clarified shifting weakly she seemed to be thinking

“Oh… hooboy right into the hard questions huh? Well, First of all you aren’t death, or a demon, or a devil, or whatever else they called you, you’re a human, like me.” she said  I shake my head oh no, there's no way I’m like her, she doesn't look like she has an aggressive bone in her body! She’s to much like… like her… No I was nothing like this pretty girl.

“Devil before Arena… Mom?  Mom-man, they call me devil… stupid… useless.” I explain trying to remember the words they had used to describe me.  It has been many years. And I don’t like remembering them really They hadn’t wanted me, thy had hated me so much they sold me to ‘Him’ so thinking about them was just painful.

“Well… Not to upset you… but your parents sound like assholes.” Frisk said flatly surprising me with her flat and annoyed tone.  I certainly never would have expected her to talk like that it was so… blunt.

“Yes… think you are right, did not ever want me… often called a mistake.” I said shifting a little looking past her to where Gaster was sitting looking mad… why was he mad, but even as I wonder that I remember, how mad he got when I called myself stupid… he was so quick to jump to my defence.  I-is he angry for me?

“Kinda good thing.” I said softly watching him I don’t see the shocked look she gives me, before she to looks at Gaster.

“Kinda really good thing…” I repeated a little louder, he looked over surprised, yep he heard me that time!  I smiled I like it when he looks at me, I have had so few things that make me hayy, is it wrong to want that happiness when he looks at me? When he sees me?

“No more say those bad things,  Met her… Met Gaster.” I said honestly rocking a little blushing I’m feeling stupid again saying such things but instead of laughing Frisk smiles while Gaster watches me intently his expression unreadable… or maybe it is and I just don’t know this one yet, I am not sure.

“That’s true in a way, and that's a good way to think, finding the good in the bad.  It can really help. I hope you don’t mind but I hope meeting me becomes a good thing to, I would like us to be friends.” she said warmly, Frisk is so open and friendly and I find myself smiling, friends?  I like that idea alot but fear keeps the sentiment locked in my chest… not yet… not yet…

“Can you tell me about ‘her’, your bracelet was hers right?” Frisk prompted pointing to the hankie around my wrist. The bracelet is still securely attached to it, it was so much stronger then string! I’m more than happy to talk about her everyone should know what a wonderful good person she was, nothing like me!  If I am the devil she was an angel good and pure and sweet.

“Yes! Yes Good girl, so special.” I said shifting pointing to the letters “She wouldn’t fight, no kill, kill bad she would say, but Me not bad… Doing best… just want to live… she told me about home… good home, pretty room with pretty things… Mom is love… mom is good and kind… Mom-man is gone just her and her mom… needs to go home… for her mom and she tries to do good she is good but not fighter, I need to keep her safe so I fight, she can go home to mom,  I kill for her.” I explained eagerly as I draw a square shape on the blanket with my finger then another

“Her cage here next to my cage, small but I can reach… at night she cry call for mom so I rub, she is happy then.  She is good very good girl very good girl…” I said slowing as something occurred to me

“You read?” I ask, Frisk nods and Gasters attention turns sharply to me

“Uh yes I can, can’t you?” she asked I shifted glancing away “B-been long, c-can’t remember…” I murmured weakly pointing

“J, E, N, N, A  Sounds like Gina?” I ask I think that’s it I remember the cuvry letter makes a sharper sound and I know the letter E that was the one I remember best for some reason,  N is a soft stop sound, when I say N the sound is like a hum that stops it’s hard to explain but I know it. And the a is a rounder sound Aaaaa.

“Hmm not quiet the e here is soft, so it’s Jenna.” she explained gently I frown that sound better, I stare at the bracelet

“Jenna… Jenna…” I smile gently relieved.   Yes that’s right I remember her saying it. I feel tears and wipe at my eyes

 

_There you are…_

 

_You went away for so long..._

 

“I-I’m sorry… I-I couldn’t remember how she said it… I remember she was little, smaller than me she was good, no fighting, wouldn’t fight.” I said softly tracing the letters I remember her name, I remember her name… it’s wonderful to remember her name, it’s been so long, I have lived before and after longer than I ever knew her, but she was, the most important kindest person I ever knew… I lookup first to frisk then to Gaster, well so far.

“Thank you… it’s been so long… I’ve missed her so much.” I said softly looking up Gaster had approached and set his hand on my head the bony fingers are gentle before he pulls away thoughtfully

**“It was a while ago… there would be no body…”** he murmured he seemed to have been about to suggest something, I shake my head

“No,  Fighters killed in the ring are disposed of… Human corpses are burned, Monster dust is added to the ash and it is disposed of.  I am not sure how, but I have seen them throwing bodies in the furnace…” I shift a little rubbing my wrist holding the bracelet secure against me.  How do I explain what it does to me? Knowing many of them are my fault, watching them being tossed like garbage because they couldn’t kill me… because I wouldn’t let them…

 

_Devil_

 

_I am a devil_

 

_Damned, a killer, a devil_

 

“‘He’ made me watch them burn her…” I said softly Frisk made a weak noise  was she upset? Maybe that was a good thing, they needed to understand No I am not a person I am not a monster even I am a devil, a terrible creature undeserving of any of their kindness

“I wouldn’t let her go after the fight.  They gassed me and took her, and waited until I woke,  ‘He’ made sure I knew it was her They had… taken her cloths.   To be cleaned and used on another asset… one had her arms…” My voice is shaking, the two have gone completely still as they watch me speak  neither moved, Frisk looked horrified and sickened Gaster looked enraged but still I couldn’t stop talking as the images played out, a sick show that needed to finish.

“T-took her arms... a-and legs… a-and they swung her l-like a jump rope…I broke my wrist… pulling out of the chair but there… there was glass… I… I….” I didn’t realise I was shaking or how hard I was breathing my eyes where fixed I could see it  I-I couldn’t help her no matter how many times I reached out. My fingers curled tightly into the bedspread fabric tearing under the force I can’t get out of it…. I can’t stop seeing her

 

_Give her back…._

 

_Don’t leave me…._

 

“I hate him….  They made me watch her burn…  She never got to go home not even dead it’s awful…” I said weakly I am crying now… I have to, I don't know what else to do, I am a stupid helpless devil, I can only kill and destroy… Had I wanted to much? Was I to selfish? Was that why my wish for her didn’t come true?

“I hate him... I hate him. I hate him! I Hate Him! I HATE HIM! I HA-!” I gasp weakly as suddenly Frisk pulls me into a hug, I freeze uncertaine what to do.  I… for a moment I had forgotten they were there, for a moment I was back in the chair with ‘Him’ holding my eyes open, making me watch… making me understand that I failed….

“You can’t let that take you over.” she said fiercely “Hate is such a powerful thing… You can be mad, you can never forgive him but don’t let him hold you with your hate.” she said she was trembling a little and with out knowing what to do I shift my arms around her

“Hate takes over everything and then all you have is that sick feeling and the person you hate and nothing else.” she said softly there was something about her tone and I gripped tighter I feel like… she's warning me because she knows something,

“No… Not until he’s dead… So many more… so many fighters… death matches… I am best the only reason I’m even alive…  others now… so much smaller… younger… kids… need to… This death needs to stop… stop it... I will be death… I will kill him.” I said softly, Frisk looked stunned not just by my determination to see the man dead but by the idea there where more people and kids as well.

“I will kill him one day.” I repeated softly, more for myself.  More for the reassurance that one day I would. Slowly Frisk nods surprising me with her easy acceptance

“I know, I know… Gaster will help and Sans and Papyrus and me if I can, we’ll help you because that man needs to die for everything he’s done, but don’t hate him, Dislike him, but don’t let him keep you.” she said pulling back holding my shoulders as she stares at me, slowly I nod.  Hold me? It was something I had never really thought about but… he does, He holds me because everything is his fault… but I’m right here now aren’t I? But I am still fearful and full of hate for ‘Him’

 

*

 

As she considered what Frisk told Her Gaster slipped from the room He had felt Papyrus’ approach and not wanting to interrupt he had instead slipped out to meet his son, he needed a moment as well, his rage was to strong his magic threatening to explode out and destroy everything.  He had learned self control early in life but seeing his Angel look like that, the lost horror, questioning why she was even alive… he grit his teeth and began unbuttoning his cuffs and rolling down his shirt sleeves. The simple task soothes and settles his mind so that when he looks up he is calmer. Papyrus had stopped several feet away and watched him wearily.  Feeling the magic glowing in his eyes he took another breath and settled himself more. Once he was certain the other skeleton was in control Papyrus stepped forward and held out a paper to his father.

“These two shops are best suited for now, I believe if you want to fully kit her out however there is a shop here, it’s a little closer to the edge of our territory but they have human and Monster employees and have worked with difficult clients.” he explained calmly as Gaster looked over the names of the three shops and their addresses

**“I see and in your opinion which would be best to go to for now of these two?”** he asked Papyrus shook his head

“They both seem entirely acceptable based on the conditions you laid out.” he said then hesitated

“However this one… felt more welcoming.” he said finally Gaster nodded,  Papyrus might be an intimidating figure but he had always been good at getting the feel of an area, if his gut told him this place was better that's what Gaster would go with.

**“Contact and make arrangements for the morning, I want her out of those arena cloths as soon as possible.  Inform Sans he and Frisk will be coming as well. She is responding well to Frisk and I believe having someone other than me there will help her stay calm,  and a woman can help her figure out some of the cloths.”** he said frowning if that body suit had been all she had ever had since being purchased she probably wouldn’t know how to deal with something like a bra or hose, or whatever god awful things women wore in the pursuit of fashion.

Papyrus nodded and went off to make the arrangements while Gaster stepped back into the room,  Frisk was tying a red ribbon from her dress into the white hair. He paused as she turned and offered him a smile it was, so pure, unashamed joy at something so simple.

“Nice?” she asked pointing to it he smiled nodding

**“Very nice.  I thought you might like some different cloths, no more arena cloths since you won’t ever have to fight in the arena ever again.”** he said gently she eyed him suspiciously before tugging a little at the neck line

“I-is it ok?” she asked nervously “Not sure… what to wear…” she said softly Gaster smiled

**“Frisk will come with us, and so will my Sons, it will give you a chance to meet them, they would like to meet you.”** he said gently She frowned thoughtfully

“Sans and… Paprus?” she asked he nodded

**“Close Papyrus yes.”** he said she pointed to Frisk and looked back towards the human woman

“Sans is Soulmate… son… so you are Mom-man?” she asked it took him a moment to understand her meaning then he nodded standing fully

**“Yes, I am their father, that's what a male mom is called.”** he corrected gently she nodded

“Father… father?... hmm… Is… there other word?” she asks seeming thoughtful  Frisk shifted

“Well there Father, Dad, Daddy, Papa…”

“Ah! That I know that Papa… I called him papa.” she said then scowled

“He got mad after a while and told me to stop… t-thats why I couldn’t remember...” she said trailing off reaching up she fingered the end of the ribbon Frisk had tied

“S-so cloths shopping? That’ll be fun.” Frisk said quickly grabbing her attention, Gaster let out a relieved breath he was grateful to his sons mate for helping him with this, so much of his angels life had been so terrible.  He wondered if he could find her parents, make them suffer as well for what they had done to her… no, one step at a time.

“Will we be going tomorrow?” Frisk asked Gaster nodded

**“First thing in the morning, I thought she could borrow one of my shirts just for tonight to sleep in.”** he said calmly… actually he would insist on it,  he wanted his scent on her, so all monsters would know she was his.  Frick nodded looking at the bodysuit.

“Well that’s true while these are uh… serviceable they’re not very good for sleeping in.” she said then sighed

“Yes I suppose going first thing is best, I guess that means Paps found something?” she asked Gaster nodded.  Looking between the two of them the paler girl was concentrating on how they spoke and their expressions, she was trying to learn.  It was kind of cute the way she watched them so closely. To be forced into such Isolation, interacting largely with people you where expected to kill?  What did that do to a person? Her life had been one of death and violence for so long,

Learning she had been forced to watch as they burned her partners body?  It horrified and angered him. Seeing her smile about something as simple as a ribbon?  She had learned to take the smallest pleasure and savour them…

He would make sure she had many many reasons to smile for the rest of her life.


	5. Chapter 5

I’m nervous but also fascinated,  The car (A limo I am told) is long and lit up inside,  I sit in the middle with Gaster on one side his arm around me while frisk sits on the other she is talking quietly with the skeleton who had been introduced to me as Sans.  He is shorter than the other skeletons but broader, not fat I don’t think just big, I’m not sure how best to explain it but he seems right, he is very friendly to. He had stood by with a lazy grin gold tooth glinting while Frisk walked with me down the fancy stairs.  

She introduced us while Gaster followed silently, I’m not sure why but he seems to be speaking to me less… I wonder if I’ve done something wrong but I don’t know what.  It’s frustrating being stuck with so many things I don't know. Sans offered his hand and as he shook mine introduced himself, Sans, Sans the skeleton. I’m not sure why he said it like that but Frisk had smiled in a funny way so I thought maybe it was more for her then me.

The other skeleton was Papyrus, he was very tall even taller than Gaster we eyed each other, I don't know how to explain it but there's a way he holds himself that I recognize,  the kind of thing I’d see in the arena, I recognize it and wonder if he has fought there was well… but, after a moment I relax, I don’t know why but I want to trust Gaster. This whole soulmate thing didn’t really make sense to me but, I … I know I really want to trust him.  So I offer the Skeleton a nod which he returns after a moment, we didn’t need to shake hands, I know we have reached an understanding that words can’t really explain.

The taller skeleton is sitting on the other side he has to sit slumped because he’s too tall for the car.  He doesn't acknowledge or take part in any conversation just writing in a small notebook and while I am curious I don’t ask in can’t seem to speak I want to touch and explore this thing, it’s a room on wheels basically, There's soft music playing and a small TV that's turned off a small fridge with drinks inside, glasses,  why would you even need a whole house with something like this? I’m astounded by it and say as much to Gaster who smiles

**“This is what wealth can afford.  This is a smaller Limo to be honest as I don’t use it often, it’s very attention grabbing which can be a nuisance, but it’s useful at other times.** ” he said cryptically.  So sometimes he wanted attention and sometimes he didn't?  I think? Not wanting to be seen as a fool I keep my hands clasped in my lap and just fall into myself.  It easy to pass time this way, I can just go in, I don’t get distracted I don't think I am just there. A body, living, breathing pulsing.  I feel warm here, I feel at peace here. 

There is no arena here there is nothing just me, and my beating heart.

I used to want to stay here, but if I did and I was taken to the arena I would die.  I couldn’t die I needed to … to do something. I can’t remember what it was that made me want to live so badly, I glance over at Gaster he’s watching me 

**“Are you alright?”** he asked,  Embarrassed I nod and look down at my lap.  Am I alright? Maybe? Yes? No? I don’t even know, nothings been ‘right’ since I saw him, all these things I don’t know, all these things I should, part of me remembers cars and part of me is certain they’re smaller then this.  I recognize some of the drinks in the fridge I know the fridge but when it had first opened my thoughts had called it the cold box…

He says I am his soulmate but I don’t know what that means.  Frisk is Sans’ soulmate, what does that mean? Is that why she sits closer to him?  Or does she sit by Papyrus sometimes to? She had smiled at him as well in the house, and she seemed happy enough to talk with and do things for Gaster, but they were not soulmates?   And apparently a sex thing was involved, and I just didn’t want to try and decipher that right now. 

The Limo pulled to a stop and everyone climbed out I waited uncertain, I haven't been outside   in so long. Being in a new room had been odd enough but going… outside? Even in the building gold glow of morning it was… so bright so different.  I sink back a little as Gaster crouches reaching out a hand calm and easy he waited Frisk knelt next to him 

“You’ll be ok, it’s all just us, There's no one else here except the people who work here ok?” she said gently  Sans bent over peeking through the door at me as well his face still turned on a grin 

“C’mon kiddo, we’re not so bad.” he said easily sticking out and elbow I see him nudge his brother, I don’t see the taller skeletons face but when he speaks I crawl forward

“Honestly If you can fight in a death cage match you can come out and get yourself some proper clothing.” he said shortly.  Incensed I took Gaster's hand and stepped out looking around everything was so

“Big…” I breathed

Everything just seems to keep going, buildings seem so… tall, the cars drive so fast, if they can go that fast how far can they go.  It all reaches up so high into a slowly darkening sky. Instead of pressuring me to move the others stand and let me look. I can’t believe my eyes, how had I forgotten this? 

**“Why don’t we get you some cloths, then we can walk around a bit.”** Gaster suggested all I can do is nod,  I catch Papyrus moving from the corner of my eye crouching to speak to someone else, oh the person driving of course.  After a moment the Limo pulls away and with three monsters and a girl at my back I’m sort of, herded into the shop.

 

*

 

More and more she shows him things he had forgotten he was amazed by.  How, in so few years had he forgotten the brilliance of the world, the open vastness of the sky?  So quickly taken for granted when your focused on other things. As they entered the shop he was pleased to note it was as Papyrus had promised.  As he had expected it was empty save for a few employees and a nervous looking older woman who must have been the manager. His angel shifted staring at all the cloths and frowning slightly looking up at him

“These cloths are wrong.” she said flatly, she didn't try and whisper or hide what she thought she simply spoke her mind, probably because she’d never really learned not to.  The manager stalled nervously as Gaster looked down at her

**“Wrong how?”** he asked She shifted a little more waving a hand over the elaborately beaded dress on display with as much disdain as another woman might a pair of dirty overalls

“No movement… tight to dangerous, How can I move?” she asked poking at the beads that dangled from the hem of a skirt as she spoke Frisk following quietly as the Manager made her way to Gaster fretting slightly.  She knew who this monster was and she did not want him displeased.

“We have a fine collection of casual clothes closer to the changing room sir, This is simply our Formal collection, with the holiday season coming Parties will be in full swing.” she said quickly he lifted a hand nodding once to show he understood following after the two women Sans and Papyrus where by the door keeping a casual eye out, there was a sign saying the shop was closed but best to make sure no one who couldn’t read tried to enter.

“Mmm not very stretchy… these cloth for girls?” she said looking to Frisk who chuckled nodding 

“Of course they are we can’t having you wearing cloths for puppies after all.” she said lightly she had meant it as a joke but Gaster saw the thoughtful look on the others face.  After a moment Frisk seemed to realise that the woman didn’t get the joke and they moved on

“A-anyway, you won’t need to worry too much about movement and fighting, but here there are less fancy clothes over this way.” Frisk said quickly moving along to more everyday but still quiet nice.  He watched as she looked around at everything looking a little lost and uncertain, she looked so… overwhelmed. He had thought she might enjoy this, Frisk certainly wasn’t adverse to shopping, and he knew other woman who took to shopping like fish to water.  She stopped poking a skirt lifting it studying it and sighing helplessly.

“Uhh… n-no?” she said weakly looking back at him her eyes were so helpless.

 

*

  
  
I look away almost as soon as I look at him.  I don’t want him to see how lost I feel. Frisk seems to be doing fine but all of this is so much so many cloths colors and I don’t even know where to start or what I should want.  I rub a hand over the sleeves of my cloths It’s always been this, The only time I had ever changed had been as I had gotten taller and outgrown the suit I’d worn when I had first been sold, this suit I’d had for quite a few years.  The fabric was sturdy and resilient there where a few places where it had been torn but the repairs were almost indistinguishable.   
  
I pause seeing a shirt just like the one that fit over the suit walking over I reach out, the fabric is much softer and it is green dark green.  I like it and smile weakly it’s… so soft… the color is very pretty to but what do I do. He says I can pick any clothes but is this right? He doesn’t seem to like what I’m wearing so would he not like it if I wore this?   
  
“Oh what a pretty color!” Frisk exclaimed noticing I had stopped and coming back over she studies me a moment thoughtfully then grabs a hanger just behind the one I had been looking at 

“You’re not very big I think you’ll be more of a small but that's what changing rooms are for, Here I found this skirt I think it would look very nice, it’s not tight either I thought you’d prefer it.” she said lifting it for me to see.  

It is… pretty.

It is white and has a little lace at the bottom of the skirt but is otherwise quiet plaine. But it’s very pretty in how simple it is. I nod smiling and Frisk drapes it over her arm with the green shirt looking smug.

“I’ve collected a couple other things,  we need to get an idea of what you like before I can really dig in so why don’t you try some of these on first then we can keep going!” she exclaimed before looking to Gaster I turn following her gaze I don’t know why she’s looking at him as he studies a shoe before setting it down and following after us.   
  
“Alright now you sit here.” she instructed him briskly, surprising me, I thought he was in charge but he merely smiles and sits as he is told before I can question it though Frisk is dragging me into a small room with a big mirror in three parts.   
  
“Now let's get these off.” she said and helps me pull of the over shirt before undoing the hook and zipper. Stepping out of the suit I stop realising she’s not moving.  Se’s just staring at me and I look at her confused. I’m not sure what she’s looking at she seems upset I reach out tentatively before she seemed to come back to herself.   
  
“Underwear! I forgot underwear,  You might not have big breasts but you still need support I’ll be right back you stay here ok?” she says quickly rushing out.  Underwear? Bra? I look down Are my breasts small? Well I suppose. I have fought other woman with much bigger breasts, they are tender and make a good target.  And ‘He’ often kept company with woman who had very large breasts.   
  
I turn to look at myself in the mirror, it is so strange because the woman staring back at me feels like a stranger.  She has my skin and my white hair, Her eyes are tired, her face is thin, there's a scar just under her left eye, I remember how I got it, it had been quiet early in my so called ‘career’

My eyes are grey…   
  
I had forgotten that.  I lean closer to the mirror looking at them then just watching my reflection move. My finger moves up and down the small mark on my cheek, it’s not much bigger than a fingernail, and that made sense, as it was a thumb nail aiming for my eye that had made it.

It hadn’t been a bad move and might have been good if I hadn’t moved, a fraction to late obviously if I had been faster I wouldn’t have been hit at all, but it had brought her close enough for me to strike.  I had won by grabbing her throat and pulling digging nails in until the flesh had simply given way under my grasp.

I step back and study my scarred skin turning so I can see it all.  I have quite a few, I’ve never really thought about it before but I wonder if that’s why Frisk was so upset when she looked at me.

I turn as she returns carrying a plastic pack and a few smaller hangers. I am curious but soon learn.  Frisk is a strict taskmaster, I am very quickly dressed in what she says are Lingerie. The word means Underwear apparently.  I don’t know why they don’t just call it underwear.   
  
Once they where on and apparently there is a very specific way to put on a bra, I dressed surprised by how soft the fabric feels against my skin, I knew it was soft when I touched it but…   
  
“Ok let's take a look at you.” Frisk said turning me to face the mirror.  I stare at the woman standing there stunned I… I look… pretty.   
  
“There No one would ever know, gosh this green really suits you.” Frisk said  grabbing my hand “Come on We have to show Gaster he’ll want to see th-” I stop shivering looking down nervously

“Hmm?  What's wrong? Are you alright?” she asked me I shake my head weakly 

“I… I can’t… wouldn't...t-to nice… to pretty… better for… someone else, who is good… like you.” I managed weakly looking at her.  How can I stand here in these pretty clothes when she couldn’t even grow up? Frisk sighed relaxing a little and moving hugging me tightly   
  
“You’re thinking about your friend? And the arena?” she asked softly I nodded slowly shoulders hunching.  I have never had anyone to talk about it with before but she seems to understand my thoughts.    
  
“Do you know the best way to make up for everything?” she asked pulling back and studying my face “To make up for all the people you had to kill in the arena?” she asked,  This catches my attention… there's something I can do… some way I can make up for all the bad things?   
  
“The first thing is that your going to stop him from hurting others, You already decided on that and Gaster is going to help. We’ll take down the whole operation if we have to and make sure those kids get home safe.” she said reaffirming my determination to do so

“Now this is the most important part.  You need to live the best life you can.” she said startling me.  The best?   
  
“Think about it, all those people, even your partner, they aren’t alive they won’t experience anymore happiness now, so you need to be happy for them you need to live your life as best you can, for them.” she explained I frown trying to understand   
  
“B-but… bad… punish.” I managed weakly she surprised me and smiled 

“You punish yourself enough already, the life you lived up to this point was a punishment.  Much to extreme for what you did. And all of that you did to survive. So, because you survived you need to live,  be happy and carry that happiness so you can give it to them when you do die Much much later in life.” she said smiling warmly resting hands on my shoulders   
  
“It won’t be easy and maybe for the whole rest of your life you’ll still have guilt, but you need to forgive yourself.  You need to see the good things. It won’t be easy but we’ll help you, Gaster will help you.” she said gently surprising me when she pulls me into a hug I don’t know what to think  I-I forgot what hugs where like.   
  
I relax slowly and eventually grab on hugging her back burying my face in her shoulder savoring the gentle touch.  Gaster had been gentle to… kind, easy soft… they were so good to me… why? My fingers curl, I already know despite Frisks words, if anyone ever tries to hurt them I will kill again, arena or not I will not fail them the way I did ‘her’

“Come on now lets show Gaster I bet he’ll love it.” she said pulling back smiling encouraging I nodded and with her holding my hand let her pull me from the changing room.

 

*

 

Gaster frowned it was taking a while, was everything alright in there, maybe this was to much to soon, maybe he should have had frisk just go to a department store or something and pick up cloths, his angel wasn’t ready for this, stupid, stupid… he never made such mistake he never misread a situation, he was the one who could be counted on to-   
  
“Here she is, she picked this top herself.” Frisk said hand on Angels shoulders guiding her from the fitting room,  He stared speechless amazed. She was pretty before but now shyly gripping the skirt and looking at him blushing she just looked delectably adorable!

“Well well kiddo, that don’t look half bad.” Sans said from the door as he looked over Papyrus glanced over as well nodding    
  
“It’s not red but acceptable.  Neater for a woman then that suit.” he said simply the best kind of compliment he could manage, He saw the way she smiled shyly while Frisk gave him a slightly impatient look and he realised he hadn’t spoken

**“It’s, beautiful, very nice… the color is good.”** he said shifting a little he coughed feeling irritated that he couldn’t think of what to say.  Of course she looked good but she had looked good from the moment he had seen her. 

He liked her smile.

She lit up with a brilliant grin at his words the smile lighting up her eyes as she looked at him obviously most delighted about his approval. It was… cute.  This woman was so damn cute!

“Excellent, Next!” Frisk said startling them both out of their stare as she guided his angel back into the fitting room.  And so it went for almost two hours Frisk selecting cloths she thought would be best, making sure there was plenty of freedom and movement.  Her enthusiasm was catching it seemed because with each outfit Angel modeled for him she seemed to be having more and more fun laughing and twirling opening up in utter delight.

He liked to see her so happy.  Frisk really got her laughing and he was grateful,  and sometimes when she looked at him she smiled so happily it made his soul clench and feel tight.  Was this what it meant to be soul mates, to see her smile and ache with joy for her?

He looked up as Frisk coaxed her out she slowly emerged looking shy again, he sort of understood why, the red and gold gown she wore was beautiful the main body of the the gown was in a dark wine red with a chiffon overlay adorned with golden sequins in a sharp and tasteful art deco style.

“G-good?” she asked weakly she felt a little awkward it was so pretty like a dress a princess should wear, he stood walking over forcing her to look up at him catching her elbows gently   
  
**“Utterly breathtaking.”** he said softly gently brushing hair from her face.  She blushed the pink flushing her whole pale face 

“B-breath taking… is good... not death but good feelings F-frisk said.” she said softly Gaster chuckled nodding   
  
“Well well look at you kiddo almost look like a lady there.” Sans said teasingly Papyrus nodding quietly even he seemed impressed in his own private way as he looked over.

She tensed

“DOWN!” she was launching forward before any of them could react as the glass doors shattered and screams echoed from the shop manager he watched stunned, sequins flashing as she charged froward.  Sans and Papyrus were tuning to attack as she shot between them a streak of red and gold she lunged through the shattered door the dress tearing on shards of glass.

As she landed on top of the shooter he staggered back losing balance and hitting the ground. She’d grabbed the gun bearing hand and snapped it back hard bone cracking and snapping under the force of her attack.  He screamed crying out in agony as she went for his throat

 

*

“Not yet!”  

 

I stall, my  fingers a hair width from the soft throat of the trembling man's neck,  I’m shivering primed and ready to deliver the final blow. It’s amazing, the physical struggle not to do what I had done for years.  I looked back over my shoulder everything is a red haze of anger and a need to destroy the one who would threaten… threaten…. My eyes sharpen as someone stood there bony hand up approaching carefully.    
  
“We need him alive kiddo we need to know who sent him.” Sans voice broke through the haze of killer intent... alive?  I didn’t leave people alive I am death, it was impossible… my chest is heaving I can faintly feel the sting of cuts on my skin.  The murmurs of voices. Slowly the haze clears and I become more aware of my surroundings. Some people have stopped to witness but seeing Sans where quick to turn and walk the other way.  

When Papyrus approaches I climb off the mans chest and sit staring at the floor as he effortlessly hauls the man up and drags him into the shop.   
  
“A-are you…”  I flinch as Frisk touches my shoulder,

“Don’t touch death!” I snapped… I had allowed myself to forget what I was… I’m not a soul mate, I am nothing valuable for anything other than death. I can almost feel her recoiling from me

 

Yes… run

 

Yes... I am death

 

Hate me, fear me… run, and live

 

I can hear the crunch of glass under shoes before arms wrap around me from behind.  I know it’s Gaster. I don’t know how but I just know it…   
  
“Don’t touch death… you die to…” I said weakly he said nothing only buried his face in the crook of my neck hugging me tighter.  I don’t see the way he shoots sharp threatening glares at anyone who might draw close or the way his eyes glow with a powerful red magic.  It wasn’t until much later that Sans explained to me laughingly that Gaster had looked ready to kill anyone who breathed wrong around me.

“Bad…” I said weakly he needed to understand….   
  
**“No,  you saved us, you shouted for my boys.”** he said quietly his voice a mumble against my skin   
  
“Almost killed… ready to kill…” no no he didn’t get it I was so ready,  I had thought I could be absolved of what I had done but then at the first sign of trouble I was ready to kill again!   
  
**“If you hadn’t been he might have Shot Sans, or Papyrus, or Frisk.”** he said softly, and so it went, each attempt I made to convince him of what a beast I was, he had an argument to counter me, until he scooped me up and walked me back into the shop. The woman who managed the shop directed him to a back room and still carrying me he walked in.  the man who had attacked was tied to a chair and to my surprise frisk was sitting by wiping blood off her hands with a white hanky while Sans held the mans head up hand firm in his hair, the man was speaking quickly half sobbing out answers to quick fire questions asked by Papyrus and sans, Papyrus writing it all in his little notebook.   
  
This paused however and they all looked over making me feel so terrible I turn burying my face in Gasters chest.  I wait for them to speak to tell me they don’t want me anymore to tell Gaster he should get rid of me. Theres a clack of shoes hitting the floor

“Oh gosh is she ok did she get hurt?  I didn’t think he’d shot her but.” Frisk said worriedly surprising me,  I look over as Gaster reassured her I was ok.

“Oh I’m so glad!” she said happily touching my shoulder then hugging me as best she could 

“Thank you for protecting Sans and Papyrus. We’re so lucky you saw him out the window!” she exclaimed I’m stunned but hug her back after a long hesitant moment.  Gaster sets me down and Frisk and I walk to a low sagging sofa. Papyrus and Sans step back as Gaster grabs a chair turning to sit on it arms across over the back one hands reaching out the grab the mas hair and wrench his head up to face him.   
  
**“Who sent you.”** he said his voice is calm and cool but tension causes the hairs on me to rise I can feel it, the danger the threat, it’s like a living being pulsing through the air.   
  
“L-like I told them, a-ain’t no one send me, J-just fuckin hate monstas!” the man declared  Gster nodded musingly   
  
**“I see, so a member of An elemental gang, Hates monsters does he?”** he drawled grinning as the man paled.  I’ve never seen anything like it, ‘He’ had seemed like the most terrifying thing to me for so long but watching how effortlessly Gaster spoke, how he commanded attention and power.  I realize ‘He’ had been a poor actor.   
  
‘He’ wasn’t really scary at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A lot of perspective switching in this chapter, they both have a lot going on in their heads, a lot of complex emotions Gaster is struggling to understand the desires being with her stirs in him, not sexually but like wanting to see her happy
> 
> And she's really warring with her self worth and value. She's coping with a lot of trauma and a Lot of guilt. She likes the idea that maybe she is allowed to be happy, Maybe there is a way she can repay those she killed. But then she's reminded of what she is. It crushes her inside.


	6. Chapter 6

Gaster smiled seeing the way the man looked away, it was quick just a flicker to the side in a tell that was common among humans.  He glanced up seeing the way his angel was sitting on the sofa.  She was looking so confused, and uncomfortable. The shame on her face was clear and made him so angry he grasped the mans hair so hard he felt hair pull from the scalp causing the man to yelp.  Gaster blinked returning his attention back to the man  
  
 **“Oh… Have I hurt you?  Really? It was just a bit of hair, we haven’t even begun really.”** he said frankly he thought about the way she had sat there on the street withdrawing into herself, her pretty dress in tatters, her skin marred with tiny cuts.

**“So an elemental hmm?  Now I know the River Person has been quiet happy with our agreement as of late, and Grillby has been a close friend since before we were even sealed in the underground, so that means either you are working independently or.”**  Gaster dragged out the word, the longer he did the harder he pulled on the man's hair, the man didn’t say a word though just gasping out a grunt.    
  
“Hmm, let see… Frisk do you still that file in your bag?” he asked casually looking at the young woman, she smiled nodding 

“Oh yes of course.” Patting angel on the shoulder reassuringly before walking to the table where she’d left the little clutch she carried habitually.  She snapped it open dug a bit and produced a nail file, walking over she handed it to him and then sat back with Angel. Once he was certain angel was comfortable he smiled to her  
  
 **“You see my dear,  We won’t ever judge you for what you have done because.”**  as he had spoken without even looking at the man he had scooped up his hand

**“Everyone of us do far, far worse.”** he said and without pause slammed the file under the man nail.  The shriek he made was almost inhuman as he bucked and thrashed in the chair held down by blue magic Holding the hand firm Gaster slowly lifted the file until the nail bed finally gave and the fingernail was ripped off dropping to the floor with a faint tap as the man gasped out panting his hand shaking finger bleeding.  Angel had watched surprised before shifting a little

“How worse… tried to kill…” she mumbled softly Gaster nodded

**“Exactly, he tried to kill my sons, so this, is ok.”** he said calmly the man sputtered but before he could say anything the file went under another nail and with the same motion Gaster pried off the next finger nail.  He wasn’t slow about it but he didn’t make it quick either no, this man didn’t get that escape from the pain.

**“What you did, you did to survive, first because you were going to save your dear friend, and then because you were going to avenge her.  Neither of these are bad. You where in a terrible situation, what you did while there does not make you bad.”** he said calmly, the man was panting hard his face a mess of tears and snot drool dripping from his gasping mouth.

**“Now then are you going to tell us why you attacked or do you need more incentive?”** Gaster asked sliding the file just under the edge of the next nail,  just so that the tip pressed were the skin of the nail bed met the nail.

“Ngg  I can’t….” he said weakly panting, he cringed as the file was pushed beginning to split the flesh free

“HAA!  I-I can’t I can’t please, god please I can’t, I can’t I don’t know I don’t know.” he said looking up,  there was something in his eyes and Gaster tilted his head, holding the file still for the moment.

**“So then, tell me what you know.”**   
  
“I-I’m not part of a gang, I swear, I swear, I ain’t got no money, I-I needed work, some guy came to me in a bar a few months ago, said if I did him a favour someday he’d pay off some of my debt, so I said sure I didn’t think he’d do it I was kinda drunk to.  Next thing I know everything's written off, I got the gun in my mailbox this morning with a note to be here and shoot whoever was inside. That was allllLLL!!!!” the man's last word was dragged into a shout as the third nail was pried off.

**“Who approached you?”**

“I-I don’t know god I-I don’t know I’d never seen the guy before, haven’t seen him again either, j-just a guy human guy, kinda pale but pretty normal lookin!  That's why I didn’t really believe him I thought he was just another drunk shit like me!” he said wildly desperate. Gaster leaned back musingly before looking to Papyrus.   
  
**“Is there anyway anyone could have known we where coming today?”** he asked the taller Skeleton, Papyrus frowned shaking his head thoughtfully.   
  
“It’s possible my asking about shops got out but there was no way to know which of the three I had narrowed it down to or when we would be here.” he said 

“Unless the shop owner told anyone, but frankly I don’t think she’d be able to cover that, and she seemed just as much at risk as anyone.”  Gaster nodded in agreement before standing he shifted the file in his hand pressing it to the mans temple, he whimpered weakly it was a pathetic sounds, Gaster was ready to end him when his angel jolted to her feet

“Wait…”  she took a step forward shaking a little as she looked between Gaster and the man.

“W-wait…”  she seemed hesitant, frightened,  he lowered the file and looked at her the man looked up looking over at her terrified

“Family?” she asked  he stared for a moment dumbfounded then paled oh god

“N-no no I have no family No!” he said quickly terrified.  Looking between the man and his angel Gaster sighed he knew what she meant.   
  
“Stop snivelling, She is asking if you have any family, you’re wearing a wedding ring.” Papyrus said with disgust,  Gaster almost grinned, it seemed his younger son also understood her intentions.   
  
“U-uh S-she le-” he stopped as Gaster leaned close

**“Don’t lie to my woman.”** he hissed darkly.  The man whimpered and swallowed thickly nodding slowly he was shaking violently.

“M-my wife is gone… b-but I have a son, h-he’s 7…” he managed weakly Angel shifted looking at her fingers counting slowly then seemed to nod   
  
“Small boy… good boy?” she asked, the man frowned a little confused by the way she spoke before nodding    
  
“Y-yeah, h-he’s a good kid… smart to really smart…” he managed weakly Gaster watched his Angel mull over the information before she looked at him then the man   
  
“Small boy needs Mom-man… ah… f-father.” she said stepping forward

“‘He’ says money is very important, very very much, that is why ‘he’ did those things, I did… for her.” she said and gestured to the man who was looking confused but maybe a little hopeful 

“Like me… not like ‘him’ no hurt for bad hurt for other like me.” she said trying to put into words what she was thinking, Gaster softened Damn… she was so cute!  Here she was trying to defend a man ready to kill a moment ago!

“That’s true enough I guess… And killing him won’t benefit us, however if we keep him alive he can point out the man if he ever sees him again.” Frisk said standing and walking over touching the fighters shoulder

“That’s what you mean right? That we shouldn’t kill him?” she asked softly, Gaster watched as his angel nodded, unable to deny her anything he sighed annoyed.

**“Sans, You will go with this man and collect his son.  Odds are who ever hired him wouldn’t have planned to let him live had he succeeded in killing us, less so now he has failed.  Collect what they need and bring them… urg… to the house for now.”** he said annoyed then reached out grabbing the man's neck forcing him to look up into glowing red eye sockets.  
  
 **“Understand, my generosity only extends as far as hers, but if you act against me or my children again neither you or your son will survive.”** he hissed darkly his voice quiet to ensure she didn’t hear him.  He didn’t want to upset her with his threat. She was trying to be more than a killer he wanted to help her. The man nodded quickly and blurted out frantic thanks.

**“Don’t thank me, thank her, she believes you should live.”** he said curtly, the man nodded collapsing to the floor.  He watched his angel step back startled blushing faintly as the man began saying thank you to her for speaking for him, giving him and his son a chance.  

“U-uh… ah… y-yes… no bad again yes?  Not again must be better then now.” she said the ma nodded either to please her or because he understood the meaning of her words Gaster wasn’t sure but he was happy enough, he looked to Sans who sighed but nodded hauling the man to his feet and patting his shoulder heavily

“C’mon, why don’t you tell me a bit about your kid and what he likes, We’ll see what we can do for him.” he said with his usual deceptively friendly grin gold tooth flashing in the light as they walked out the man stumbling over thanks and apologies in between speaking about his son.  Angel shifted looking between those who remained, Gaster wanted to approach her but she needed to build her nerve back so he stayed still and watched.

 

*

 

What have I done?

I feel like a fool for saying anything, what right do I have to step in and stop them from killing when I have taken so many lives?  But…

“I-I didn’t think bad.” I managed swallowing my childish speech doesn't help I’m sure but I continue I need them to understand, I need him to understand.

“In arena, no choice.  People, all fighters, nothing no life, must fight must kill or die.” I said then pointed to the door   
  
“Not arena, just stupid man, de… uh… desperate big want, need.” damn was that the right word?  I’m not sure I hope so but none of them have moved or spoken, Papyrus looks annoyed but he kind of always looks annoyed, at last so far.  Gaster face has fallen into that neutral thoughtful look and Frisk was looking at me kindly but something about it felt… off somehow, I couldn’t really understand it.

“He, could be… h-helpful… h-he saw the one who, um, picked him.” I said carefully trying to say all the words, don’t drop any, focus on speech focus on…  Even as I tell myself these things Gaster finally moves stepping towards me, despite my best efforts I find myself flinching, he’s mad, I made him mad, I did wrong, he’ll send me back!

He pulls me into his arms holding me close…   
  
His hugs are so different from When Frisk hugs me.  His hugs feel just… different.

I like it.

**“I understand.  You are right in a way, he has seen the man who hired him, I doubt he’d be close to the man in charge but he’s a good start. Don’t worry.”** he said soothingly I can feel his fingers stroking through my hair

**“I’m going to give you a task though.”** he said sounding thoughtful as he pulled back holding my shoulders he looked me in the eye  
  
 **“You struggled to stop from killing him.  All of your training has been specifically to kill so I want you to work with Papyrus, he will teach you more restraint.”** Gaster explained while he didn’t look at Papyrus I could see the taller skeleton and while he looked mildly annoyed he slowly nodded.

“Wou-... I would like that.” I said carefully then smiled “I would like that very much,  I want to… be better, not just kill always.” I managed blushing as in my happiness I dropped a few words. Gaster smiled gently expression going soft before he ruffled my hair.  After that everything seemed to move quickly, her purchased the cloths I had shown him, all of them, and explained to the woman that he would arrange for any damaged clothing to be paid for as well as the doors to be replaced.  I followed and watched as he ensured the workers were ok, I found it interesting that he was taking such responsibility for everything, none of this had been his fault they attacked him right? Well attacked the shop anyway.

The shop owner herself found a replacement dress for the ruined one and added it to our shopping and then she and frisk took me back to the changing room. Once the torn dress was taken off they had me dress in the green shirt and white skirt I had worn first.  Frisk had neatly folded my old cloths and the woman put them in their own bag no questions asked.

“T-thank you for everything.” I said a little nervously shifting 

“Uh… t-the cloths.. Um… I can’t fight in them but they are pretty!” I said quickly m face getting hot, the woman had been so nice to me after all. She smiled and nodded and in what felt like no time at all we were back in the sleek black limo and then back…

**“Home.”** Gaster said calmly touching my shoulder as I looked up.  He had pulled me out of the car so I could see it it was very big!, not as high as the buildings in the city but big and wide.  In the middle of the front was a part that came out with a pointed roof like a princess tower. Across the front was open I’m not sure what the word is but I vaguely remember the structure so I point to them and Ask Gaster what they are he begins to explain.  
  
 **“That's a Veranda, it follows around the entire house, your room has a door that opens up onto it as well, I’ll show you.  The front turret was added by the man who built the house, he liked to think of it as his castle and I was rather fond of the style, when he had to sell I bought it.”** he explained calmly before waving for me to follow, I did so curiously he reached out taking my hand and we walked together.

**“While we were underground there wasn’t a lot of space.  I wanted this lad because of the space, the gardens. I wanted my sons to have this when they were younger, but I couldn’t do that then, but we have it now, My hope is that my boys can raise their families here.”** he explained. His voice had softened in an odd way and I found myself grasping his hand a little tighter

“There is lots of space for families yes?” I asked softly looking up   
  
“I think they will be happy here… I am.” I said, he gave me that odd thoughtful look again and I moved quickly pointing to a bush 

“W-what are these flowers? Can’t remember.” I said quickly.  He nodded and was happy enough to teach me. I like it when he teaches me, Sometimes when he speaks and begins to explain things to me it’s like he stirs old memories and I can remember I knew what he was saying once, and sometimes, I know I never knew it before.

“These are roses right?” I asked touching the cheerful yellow blooms, I’m pretty sure they are but when he nodded I felt a little relieved glad I had remembered properly.

**“Yes, there are quite a few different types and colors, some grow like bushes some are vines.”** he explained to me. I nodded brushing the soft petals with a finger, he reached to cover my hand   
**  
****“Would you like some to put in your room?”** he asked with a gentle smile, the idea was nice, I liked the smell so I accepted the offer watching as he used his magic to carefully cut away a clutch of lovely yellow blooms.  The color is so cheerful and sunny I feel happier just looking at them

**“We need to get these into water so lets head back inside.”** he suggested,  happy enough to do so I followed him reaching out to grab the flowers wanting to hold them.  He’s about to speak but before he does my hand jerks back something stung…

“Oh, what happened?” I was bleeding, it was so odd the flower made me bleed?

**“I was about to say, roses have some sharp thorns you need to be careful.”** he said reaching out a warm green glow enveloped my hand and I could feel the skin on my finger knitting together, it was odd I could feel it pressing together he swiped the drop of blood away and stunned me licking it from his finger 

“A-ah… That was weird!” I exclaimed and he laughed ruffling my hair making me feel … like a child, I wasn't to happy with that I might not be the smartest person but even I knew tasting someone blood was weird… right?  
 **  
** **“I’m sorry, I was only teasing.”** he said gently before guiding me inside.  I was starting to feel hungry but I was still uncertain about things so I kept silent about it, letting him lead me to my room,  I got to pick on of the vases around the room to put the flowers in and we went to fill it with water before setting the vase on the table next to the bed.

“But it went over there.” I pointed out and he nodded 

**“It did but you won’t smell the roses as well over there.”** he said calmly, the ease of just putting something where ever he wanted was, amazing.  Then he showed me the glass doors behind one of the thick curtains, Stepping out I smile gazing at the huge expanse of green, the trees are s pretty and the air smells  so… different.

There's a word for it I’m sure but I don’t know what it is, only that it is much better than my cell.  So much better. I lean on the banister around the veranda and take several deep breaths until I feel a little dizzy, this makes Gaster laugh

**“The air isn’t going to go anywhere but if you keep breathing like that your going to get a headache.”** he said gently resting a hand on my shoulder as he walked up to me.

“I can’t help it, I… it feels so nice. The word… it’s… clean?  But that’s not the word but the air is better.” I said I wanted to remember it

**“Hrmm… Fresh?”** he suggested the word sounded right so I said it a couple time myself then brightened I can remember

“Yes fresh air, lets get fresh air!” I said turning to him grabbing his hand I can remember a woman, a nice woman

“I-t was at school I remember, this, nice lady My teacher?  When we went out to play she would say it was good to get fresh air!” I said smiling I could remember I almost couldn’t believe it! Gaster smiled his arm wrapping around my shoulder

**“You can remember that? I’m glad for you, maybe the more you relax and think about life without the arena you’ll remember more things about life before it as well.”** he said, the idea was so wonderful, I couldn’t help being excited, yes I wanted that I wanted to remember I want to be a person again!   
  
“And, Papyrus will teach me to fight and not kill.” I said smiling brushing the skirt

“I can wear, real cloths, and eat real food and… and be… a real person?” I asked the words are careful I’m nervous I’m still waiting for someone to tell me this is a lie, but Gaster smiles and nods encouragingly. I’m about to speak when laughter catches my attention, we both look down to see a small boy running out into the grass

“WOW!  Dad! Dad come look look at the yard!” he called turning, he had shiny blond hair and I realised quickly this must be the man's little boy meaning the man was here.  We watched a moment longer as soon the man Frisk and Sans came out as well, the man walking over to pick the boy up.

“Yes it’s a very big yard but you can’t run off like that kiddo.” his words are fond and gentle and I feel a clutch in my chest.  I know my own papa never held me like that, never spoke to me like that.

“Remember we’re guests because of a nice Lady so when we see her we need to make sure to say thank you.” he said, I frowned glancing at Gaster confused, lady?  But Gaster was a man? He smiles before taking my hand and pulling me along the veranda to a set of outside stairs, We walked down and he led me over to the group the boy seeing us before his father did he grinned waving in a friendly way.

I can’t help it, the smile is so friendly and warm I wave back.  The man turns to us and quickly sets his son down in front of him hands on his shoulders

“Ah hello, uh, I uh, I realise I never gave my name, S-so I um.. I’m John Borden and this is my son, Frankie.” he said quickly patting his boys shoulder the boy smiled 

“Are you the lady who said we could stay here?” he asked eagerly I know I was blushing then, I was the lady I glance at Frisk who nods.

“I-I think so, yes… um… y-your Papa is… um..” I stumbled I’m at a loss, when again Gaster arm slips around my shoulders.

**“Your father is going to Assist us, When he told us he had a son we thought it would be easier if you lived here, there’s plenty of room after all, and he doesn't have to worry about leaving you home alone.”** He said easily, I’m glad he took over there, I had been at such a loss.  The man nods confirming Gasters story, no one wants the boy to know what had really happened so I nodded to. As far as I can tell he doesn't know about the shooting or anything.

“Well my dad is a really really good cook when he can he always makes me the best dinners.” the boy said proudly.  Gaster chuckled and explained then that yes while John would cook sometimes, he would also be protecting me.

“Huh?” I look up, protect me why?  Gaster looks at me and smiles gently there’s… something about the way he looks at me that stops me from speaking out loud and questioning what he had said. It seemed like I was going to have a bodyguard now...


End file.
